All societies have their own music and art. In what way are music and art important for society and for the individual?
People
around the globe have both similarities and differences in fine art tastes. Both of them have their benefit. Firstly
, I will discuss the benefit of that similarity for societies by being a medium to unite people
. Later, I will explore how fine arts
complexity can be used to improve their mood faster.
While
fine arts
have a plethora of kinds, all of them have a resemblance to discuss. As a result
, most people
cast aside those differences. Furthermore
, those similarities have a key role in societies by being a topic for people
to discuss. Because of that, it will make the people
cast aside their different opinions to gather. As an example, in 2017, a concert that consisted of various rock bands with different themes was held by the American government. That is
making many rock communities there hyped, proven by the concert setting the highest attendance record. This
proves that the band could be used as a medium for people
to be united.
As the fine arts
look-alike was used for uniting communities, their various type could be beneficial for supporting people
by improving their many kinds of feelings more quickly. Additionally
, some music has many types, resulting that can improve those different types of situations. For example
, sad-themed music could express their sadness more. Thus
, recovering their moods faster. For instance
, in 2023, research is being conducted by Vox Populi, a social magazine company. They surveyed 100 respondents to find the heartbroken ones and gave them sad-themed songs after that. A week later, they questioned those people
's situations. Consequently
, It turns out that 75 out of 100 people
already recovered a day later, faster than the average person. Therefore
, it proves that music can improve people
's moods faster.
In general, while
fine arts
similarities can be used to gather communities, their differences can boost various types of moods faster. For that reason, fine arts
have a lot of advantages and make them a key aspect of human lives.Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on
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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples. However, ensure that your points are fully developed and clearly articulated to achieve a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more complex grammar to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Additionally, some sentences are slightly unclear and could be rephrased for better clarity.
task response
You have provided specific examples to support your points, e.g., references to the 2017 concert and the 2023 research by Vox Populi. This makes your arguments more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and your main points are logically organized. This helps in maintaining a coherent flow throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?