Some people think that if a country is already rich, any addition in economic wealth does not make its citizen happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that once a country has reached a certain level of economic prosperity,

further

Linking Words

increases in

wealth

Use synonyms

do not necessarily make its citizens happier. I mostly agree with

this

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view because, beyond a certain point, economic

growth

Use synonyms

does not significantly improve well-being, as other factors

such

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as mental health, social connections, and work-

life

Use synonyms

balance become more important.

Firstly

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, in wealthy

countries

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, basic needs

such

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as food, healthcare, and housing are already accessible to the majority of the population.

According to

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Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, once individuals achieve financial stability and security, their

happiness

Use synonyms

is influenced more by social relationships and personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

rather than material

wealth

Use synonyms

For instance

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, studies have shown that Nordic

countries

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like Denmark and Finland, despite not being the richest in terms of GDP, consistently rank among the happiest

due to

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strong social support systems and work-

life

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balance.

Moreover

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, economic

growth

Use synonyms

can sometimes lead to increased stress and inequality, which negatively affect

happiness

Use synonyms

levels. In highly developed nations, the pursuit of

wealth

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can result in longer working hours, higher competition, and greater social pressure to succeed, leading to mental health issues.

For example

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countries

Use synonyms

like Japan and South Korea, despite being economically advanced, have high levels of work-related stress and lower

life

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satisfaction among citizens.

This

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suggests that

wealth

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alone does not guarantee

happiness

Use synonyms

However

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, it is important to acknowledge that economic

growth

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can still contribute to

happiness

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if it is used to improve public services, reduce inequality, and enhance social well-being.

For example

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, Switzerland uses its

wealth

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to provide high-quality healthcare, education, and infrastructure, which contributes to the

overall

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life

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satisfaction of its citizens.

Therefore

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while

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additional economic

wealth

Use synonyms

does not directly make people happier, how it is distributed and utilized can still play a role in improving well-being. Conclusion In conclusion,

while

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economic

growth

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is crucial for developing nations, its impact on

happiness

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in wealthy

countries

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is limited. Once basic needs are met, factors

such

Linking Words

as social connections, mental health, and work-

life

Use synonyms

balance become more significant in determining

life

Use synonyms

satisfaction.

Therefore

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, I believe that economic policies in rich

countries

Use synonyms

should focus on improving the quality of

life

Use synonyms

rather than merely increasing

wealth

Use synonyms

harjass308Tue Feb 18 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your argument is clear and well-structured, with a logical progression of ideas. Ensure each point is thoroughly elaborated to maximize clarity.

task achievement

To enhance the depth of your analysis, consider providing more specific examples that illustrate your points. This will strengthen your argument further.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses the question effectively.

task achievement

The use of examples from various countries adds credibility to your arguments and showcases a broader understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

359 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic wealth
diminishing marginal utility
income inequality
subjective nature of happiness
mental health
work-life balance
social relationships
basic needs
non-material contributors
distribution of wealth
happiness index
fulfillment
purpose
personal achievements
social tensions
material well-being

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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