The government must ensure that citizens have a healthy diet, while ithers think this is an individuals' duty. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Basicly, the
government
has an obligation to maintain the
health
of its
people
through its policies Healthy, clean, and affordable food is the
government
's effort to reduce the number of deaths and early obesity in society If
this
is not a concern for the
government
,
then
the
government
is negligent in being responsible for its own
people
For example
, how can a country survive and become better if its
people
are sick? How can the development of a country be rapid if its
people
have
health
problems?
On the other hand
, a healthy life is a personal responsibility, the
state
cannot be blamed for
health
problems or even high mortality rates
due to
health
problems,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
state
cannot be held accountable.
However
, living a healthy life in a region
that is
currently called a country is interconnected
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one another because human needs cannot be fulfilled alone, but assisted by the
state
as a supplier of food to its
people
The conclusion of all
this
is that
although
society is responsible for itself, the
state
has a big role in the healthy life of its
people
,
therefore
the
government
must act actively and even reactively to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the needs of its citizens' lives
Submitted by talubis on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by including a clear introduction with a thesis statement, well-developed body paragraphs with topic sentences, and a concluding paragraph that sums up the discussion and states your opinion explicitly.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence, make sure to logically order your ideas and use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) to connect your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
For tasks like this, it's important to address both views given in the prompt and provide specific examples to illustrate your points. Make sure you discuss each view and give your own opinion to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your writing by elaborating your ideas with detailed, relevant examples. Each main point should be supported by at least one specific example or piece of evidence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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