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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The government must ensure that citizens have a healthy diet, while ithers think this is an individuals' duty. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Basicly, the
government
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 has an obligation to maintain the
health
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 of its
people
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 through its policies Healthy, clean, and affordable food is the
government
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's effort to reduce the number of deaths and early obesity in society If
this
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 is not a concern for the
government
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,
then
Linking Words
 the
government
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 is negligent in being responsible for its own
people
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For example
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, how can a country survive and become better if its
people
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 are sick? How can the development of a country be rapid if its
people
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 have
health
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 problems?
On the other hand
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, a healthy life is a personal responsibility, the
state
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 cannot be blamed for
health
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 problems or even high mortality rates
due to
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health
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 problems,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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state
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 cannot be held accountable.
However
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, living a healthy life in a region
that is
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 currently called a country is interconnected
between
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apply
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one another because human needs cannot be fulfilled alone, but assisted by the
state
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 as a supplier of food to its
people
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 The conclusion of all
this
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 is that
although
Linking Words
 society is responsible for itself, the
state
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 has a big role in the healthy life of its
people
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,
therefore
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 the
government
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 must act actively and even reactively to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the needs of its citizens' lives

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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by including a clear introduction with a thesis statement, well-developed body paragraphs with topic sentences, and a concluding paragraph that sums up the discussion and states your opinion explicitly.
coherence cohesion
To achieve better coherence, make sure to logically order your ideas and use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, etc.) to connect your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
For tasks like this, it's important to address both views given in the prompt and provide specific examples to illustrate your points. Make sure you discuss each view and give your own opinion to meet the task requirements fully.
task achievement
Enhance the depth of your writing by elaborating your ideas with detailed, relevant examples. Each main point should be supported by at least one specific example or piece of evidence.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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