IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Over the past few decades with the help of internet an unimaginable amount of information has become widely available to the public. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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Recently,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 an unimaginable
a
Correct article usage
apply
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lot of
information
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 has become widely available to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There are several benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 issue, and
this
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 essay will elaborate in detail
as well as
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 examples in the subsequent
paragpraph
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paragraph
paragraphs
.
To begin
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 with, the first merit is someone
easier
Correct word choice
easy
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 to communicate with other
people
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. Society who is located in distant
place
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places
show examples
 is able to still interact with others because there is an
internet
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.
For instance
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, young
people
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 who work or study
in
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apply
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abroad are able to afford some
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 to their family only through a smartphone so that their parents are not anxious
with
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about
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 the condition of their children.
In addition
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, there is a technology providing education
that is
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 entailed.
This
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 situation can increase
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
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 and insight the children through the
internet
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.
For example
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, if students do not know about their subjects in school, they can search on the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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such
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 as Google or YouTube.
Secondly
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, the demerit of
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Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 is easier entered by another
culture
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 from another country. A minority of
people
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is
Verb problem
find it
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 easy to obtain
information
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 about
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culture
Add an article
the culture
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 of
abroads
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Abroads
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, and if they are appealed
, they
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to, they
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 are going to search
and
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for and
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influenced
Wrong verb form
influence
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 that
culture
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.
For Instance
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, nowadays, several youngsters prefer to follow the
culture
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 from Korea
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
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K-Pop
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as K-Pop
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 than flourishing their
culture
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 from Indonesia. They frequently join in some concerts
of
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apply
show examples
Korean Pop, and even, they
collect
Rephrase
even collect
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 stuffs that involve
Korean
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Koreans
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.
Thus
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,
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 majority of
people
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more loving
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culture
Fix the infinitive
to culture
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 from another country than their nation.
Additionally
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, many contents that are not suitable
with
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for
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 the age are widely spread.
The children
Correct article usage
Children
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 who are under 17 often acquire
information
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 about adult's
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 in several social media like Instagram, TikTok and Twitter.
To sum up
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, there advantages of technology are making
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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someone
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for someone
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 to interact with
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 family and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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education
Replace the word
educational
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information
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.
However
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, there disadvantages of these tools are another
culture
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 easier
influencing
Change the verb form
to influence
show examples
 the local
people
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 and
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 not suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the age.

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction presents the topic clearly and outlines your argument. The provided introduction is too brief and lacks a clear thesis statement.
Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your essay. Avoid run-on sentences and aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
Main Points
Develop main ideas with specific examples and explanations. Some main points are listed, but more development is needed to fully explain and support your points.
Position
Maintain a clear position throughout the essay. While advantages and disadvantages are mentioned, the specific stance on the issue is not consistently clear.
Grammar and Accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and range, as errors with verb forms, articles, and prepositions are noticeable and can impede understanding.
Conclusion
Expand on your conclusion to summarize your main points and restate your overall opinion clearly. This helps in fulfilling the task requirements and provides closure to your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital age
  • information superhighway
  • cyberspace
  • data deluge
  • online resources
  • virtual connectivity
  • e-learning
  • content curation
  • digital literacy
  • fact-checking
  • misinformation
  • filter bubble
  • online privacy
What to do next:
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