Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialise online than face to face . Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #socialise #face #development

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In recent days, people prefer to interact with family and friends on the Internet

instead

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of the traditional ways. In my opinion, it is a positive development.

This

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essay aims to illustrate my viewpoints with suitable examples.

To begin

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with, cyberspace provides individuals the chance to connect with loved ones regardless of geographical location. Some students desire to continue their higher education overseas away from their homeland. Given that situation, the most convenient way to communicate with relatives and peers is through social media.

For example

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, Facebook, Instagram,

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and Electronic mail are the few platforms they

could

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can

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connect with on a daily basis to keep in touch. Some working adults

also

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prefer to work remotely in the comfort of their own nest.

This

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in return becomes a cost-saving method for them as they can save on transportation and meal costs that can be incurred every day.

Thus

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, meeting people online benefits remote workers avoid the solitude that comes with being away from the physical office.

Furthermore

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, online interaction can provide a sense of confidentiality and distance.

This

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will be in favour of introverted people to make them feel more comfortable to open up and express themselves. Unlike face-to-face dealings might make them experience social pressure.

Additionally

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, mingling online provides individuals with a way to have a human interaction without having the need to feel anxiety and panic attacks

in contrast

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to meeting in person.

To conclude

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, the advantage of socialising online indicates a positive development

instead

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negative

Correct article usage

a negative

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one.

Community

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Communities

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from all walks of life can benefit from the expanded networks and flexible work schedules.

As well as

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creating personal interactions without being actually present in the situation.

Submitted by Nivashini_16 on Thu Feb 01 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating stronger logical connections and transitions between your ideas. Additionally, be sure to utilize a wider range of cohesive devices, as these can enhance the flow of the essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that you are addressing all parts of the prompt. While you have given reasons why people choose to socialize online, consider discussing potential drawbacks as well to create a more balanced argument. Including a more detailed examination of the negative impacts will lead to a higher score in this criterion.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social media platforms
online interactions
virtual communication
global community
interpersonal skills
digital divide
cyberspace
virtual presence
social networking
mental wellbeing
digital literacy
safe spaces
marginalized groups
face-to-face communication
socialisation

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