IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Summer company the sponsor a sport and sport the star as a way to advertise them self summer people think that it is good while other think that there are disadvantages do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages

In today's world, many companies are into supporting
both
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sports
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 teams and their
stars
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, aiming to renownd themselves. A fair number of the public would share the idea that it can be beneficial,
whereas
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 others do not favour
this
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. Despite a variety of implications of
this
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 trend. I reckon that pros have an edge over the cons. One of the major advantages is the accessibility to well-equipped spaces like gyms for players who come from different families, namely, rich or poor. To elaborate, most of the team managers prefer to provide their
sports
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stars
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 with financial aid, which
gains
Verb problem
brings gains
show examples
 for sponsors. One instance that exemplifies
this
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 is worldwide competitions like the World Cup events , which are supported by a great number of well-known enterprises. It is of paramount importance to know that most reputable companies suggest extraordinary budgets to
sports
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stars
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 to display their products, which can be productive in attracting more customers in the long term.
Thus
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,
this
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 method can play a crucial role in
both
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sports
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 teams and their sponsors.
In contrast
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, there are numerous manufacturers which produce low-level products, owing to the use of inappropriate materials , which can threaten
both
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 public health and the environment.
Along with
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 it, most of these organs strive to cover their potential issues by using
sports
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stars
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, acting in an advertisement to promote
both
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 their marketing and margin profits in the long run. To exemplify, most Chinese factories recommend as a sponsorship to more well-reputed
stars
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 to play for advertising their fake products.
Thus
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, it can lead to a decrease in
stars
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' favouritism and destroy citizens' and the environment's health.
To sum up
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,
although
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 there are a few demerits that might lead to increased gradual concerns, I wholeheartedly agree that sponsorship not only can be handy for
both
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stars
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 and their teams, but it
also
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 can offer a lot more advantages for sponsors.

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coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas clearer and easier to follow. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph is about.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you have a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps to wrap up your essay nicely.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and stance on the topic, which is important in academic writing.
task achievement
You attempt to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsorship
  • advertise
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • company
  • sport
  • fans
  • team
  • money
  • equipment
  • training
  • facilities
  • quality
  • positive image
  • customer loyalty
  • brand recognition
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