IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons
The charts provide information about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
imprionment
Correct your spelling
imprisonment
 of
males
 and females and
reasons
 for custody of both groups for five years.
Overall
,
males
 were arrested more than
women
while
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
males
 were custodied was public driving.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
women
 were arrested for public driving in five years.
Males
Fix the agreement mistake
Male
show examples
 imprisonments were 32% of which just above 30% were public driving ,followed by approximately 27%.
Moreover
, approximately 18% of men breached orders
while
 theft and assaults were 17% each.
Additionally
, 19% of
arrestations
Correct your spelling
arrests were
show examples
 recorded for other
reasons
 and 5% had no answer. With regards to
women
, 9% of females were arrested in
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
five years of which 37% of cases were public drinking.
Women
 were
inprisoned
Correct your spelling
imprisoned
 for
assuats
Correct your spelling
assaults
assets
 and other
reasons
 were 19% and 18% respectively.
Nevertheless
,
drinking
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 14% and
women
 who breached orders were about 12%. When it comes to theft,
women
 were arrested for that reason
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
approximately 13%.
Moreover
,
women
 who were arrested had no
reasons
 which accounted
7
Change preposition
for 7
show examples
%
Submitted by Praslah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, reasons, women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: