In many countires, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvtanges of this trend?

It is evident that in numerous countries, the
number
of private
cars
is on the rise. Individuals having their own
cars
can gain benefits from them.
However
, as everything comes at a price, there are
also
negative effects caused by private
cars
. In
this
essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of
this
phenomenon. The advantage of private
cars
is that they make one's life easier as they provide flexibility and safer mobility. These
cars
allow the owners to travel wherever and whenever they want.
For example
, workers can go to work in their own
cars
without having to queue at a station or wait for a bus. Other than that,
cars
help families to safely go to places, especially for those who have toddlers.
This
safety
also
applies to students who are usually picked up by their own parents by car, which would be less safe if they go by public
transportation
. Despite these advantages, private
cars
account for air pollution and road congestion. Evidently,
this
environmental issue is mainly caused by the smoke produced by
transportation
machinery.
In addition
to that, the rising
number
of private
cars
deteriorates the presence of
transportation
on the street.
This
problem not only bolsters air pollution but
also
causes traffic jams. In Jakarta,
for instance
,
this
city has both air pollution and severe congestion problems, which are caused by a huge
number
of private
cars
.
To sum up
, there are benefits and drawbacks of private
cars
.
However
, I opine that since the
number
is increasing, there are measures that should be taken to combat its drawbacks.
First,
people should be urged to make use of public
transportation
.
Furthermore
, the government should make policies in order to minimise traffic jams caused by
cars
.
Submitted by narawriteshare9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion
A clear introduction and conclusion are effectively used, but the essay could benefit from a more developed thesis statement that outlines the specific advantages and disadvantages to be discussed.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the essay is commendable, yet transitions between points can be smoother. Using a wider variety of linking words would improve flow.
Supported Main Points
Main points are supported, though some could be expanded with more specific details and examples to enhance the argument and clarity.
Complete Response
Address the task well with a generally complete response, but strive to offer a more balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Ideas presented are relevant but can be articulated more comprehensively with additional explanation or examples.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Include more specific examples to strengthen the essay's arguments and make the advantages and disadvantages more concrete.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: