IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. Do advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #work #job #change #career #times #life #trend
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In today’s complex world, numerous issues and topics are subject to debate.
One
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such
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 topic is working doing multiple
jobs
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 and switching careers several times.
While
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 every topic has
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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, the benefits of the topic outweigh the drawbacks.
This
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 essay will explore various
advantages
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 of doing multiple
jobs
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 and demonstrate why they hold greater significance compared to the
disadvantages
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.
To begin
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 with,
one
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 prominent advantage of doing multiple
jobs
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 is earning more money.
This
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 means the needs of a human are increasing, and to meet daily needs they need to work at a few different offices.
For instance
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, if a family can not acquire daily essentials by working in
one
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 place
then
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 they work at multiple locations to gain their daily needs. Despite the
advantages
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 of working simultaneously in many places, has several
disadvantages
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.
One
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 notable drawback is not having any personal
time
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. The individual will have less
time
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 to relax as their maximum
time
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 will be spent on executing the job.
For instance
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, if an individual works at 2 different locations
than
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then
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 he will have to spend a few hours at both places and
thus
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 he might not have any
time
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 left for his private life. Despite its
advantages
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, highlights the need for proactive measures to address the issue.
Although
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 managing multiple tasks has its drawbacks, the
advantages
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 it brings are more significant.
While
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 instances of having less personal
time
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 should not be overlooked, they can be addressed by taking a week off whenever needed. In conclusion,
while
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 people tend to work more than
one
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 job has several
disadvantages
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such
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 as lack of private
time
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, the
advantages
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 offered are undeniable.
Therefore
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, it is evident that the
advantages
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 of doing multiple
jobs
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 outweigh the
disadvantages
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, reinforcing its importance in our modern society.
Submitted by adarsh.deore12322 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in presenting your ideas. Paragraphs should be well-structured with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Subsequent sentences should then develop that idea, rather than introducing new, unrelated points.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with clear, relevant examples that support your main points. These examples should be specific and directly linked to the argument you are making. Refrain from presenting generic scenarios; instead, use illustrative details that enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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