Some people believe that children be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. Others that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Which suitable age
children
should start education at school
is a controversial issue. While
I understand that children
staying at the age of six or seven bring several benefit
, I strongly believe that they should go to Change to a plural noun
benefits
school
at the earliest.
On one
hand, staying at home until reaching or seven brings Correct article usage
the one
children
some advantages. Firstly
, children
obtained
home education before attending Correct pronoun usage
who obtained
to
grade Change preposition
apply
one
might have a better background than other pupils. This
is because parents allow them to spend their daily time to teach
their Change the verb form
teaching
son
or Fix the agreement mistake
sons
daughter
Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
one
by one
. Another advantage is that this
group of children
might have more confident
Replace the word
confidence
comparing
with pupils Wrong verb form
compared
to
class soon. They are mature, so they could have a stronger mental and physical.
Change preposition
in
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons should bring their children
to school
as soon as possible. First of all, children
leaving their
soon have to learn the way Change the pronoun
them
adapting
Change the verb form
to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
new
environment. Schooling environment Add an article
the new
a new
give
them more Change the verb form
gives
opportunity
to make friends, Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
be
familiar with classes and lessons soon. Correct word choice
and be
Consequently
, are able to improve their social relationship and many helpful skills. For example
, they can learn how to perform alone or with friends,
and participate in various healthy activitiesRemove the comma
apply
at
. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, parents can save time in taking care of children
, so they are able to acquire a more
schedule for their job. Correct quantifier usage
apply
As a result
, they could ensure their income and cover life.
In conclusion, I firmly argue that the of children
going to school
as soon as possible outweigh that of staying at home until they reach the age of six or seven.Submitted by hoaan2409 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all subsequent sentences support it cohesively. Transitions between ideas must be smooth and logical.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion, making sure that the thesis statement in the introduction presents your main argument coherently and the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Back up main points with detailed examples or explanations. Each point made should be supported by relevant examples or reasons why something is beneficial or not.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, fully respond to the prompt with a balanced discussion of both views, and present a clear personal opinion with a reasoned argument.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively, providing clarity and depth in the essay. Avoid vague statements and focus on clear, precise, and elaborate explanations of points.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant specific examples to strengthen arguments. Use these examples to clearly illustrate the statements made and to provide evidence for your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.