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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people choose to travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their hometown. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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A lot of individuals would prefer to travel overseas to study a foreign
language
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 rather than learn in their hometown. In my opinion,
this
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 occasion can provide a clean environment for their
country
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.
However
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, they can not go back. So, there are some kinds of benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, leaving humans can bring different types of outweighs to the surroundings. If people move to another
country
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 to learn, the environment can be enhanced
year
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 by
year
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.
For example
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, I am going to tell you about waste and air pollution. These kinds of matters depend on overpopulation. Actually, if individuals reduce there,
this
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 experience can improve nature.
Furthermore
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, there are some kinds of advantages. The
country
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 may improve its infrastructure and road systems.
On the other hand
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, if souls leave to the overseas to learn, they can not go back because the living standards may be very good compared to their
country
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.
Moreover
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, if people go away from their countries, the
language
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 of
this
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 can be lost. Take the Italy government as an example, a large part of the population is departing to study and travel in
this
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country
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.
That is
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, the number of the speakers who are local is decreasing
year
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 by
year
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.
To conclude
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, many people prefer to study in foreign countries
instead
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 of learning a foreign
language
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 in their own nation. Personally, I believe that
this
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 situation may cause the
country
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's native
language
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 to be lost and its inhabitants to not return, despite the fact that it will greatly contribute to a clean environment for the
country
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. There are advantages and weaknesses.

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task response
It is important to directly address the question prompt, which asks about the advantages and disadvantages of going abroad to study a foreign language. This means your essay should clearly state and explain these advantages and disadvantages.
logical structure
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs: one for the introduction, one or two for the advantages, one or two for the disadvantages, and one for the conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
introduction & conclusion
Make sure you have an introduction that introduces the topic and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. These should be separate paragraphs from the body of the essay.
supported main points
Develop your main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Right now, your examples are not entirely clear or relevant to the topic.
relevant specific examples
Examples should be directly related to learning a foreign language abroad, showing how it benefits or presents challenges to the individuals.
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