IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many supermarkets are selling more and more imported foods instead of seling locally produced foods? What are the reasons for this? İs this positive or a negative development?

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There are plenty of supermarkets providing more imported foods to their customers, which, in turn, sell fewer local ones. I opine that
this
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 trend provides both advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly
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, one possible reason for imported foodstuff presented in a number of supermarkets is that there can be more opportunities to gain profits in the view of an entrepreneur from providing more options to its customers.
In addition
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, in
this
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 modern era where the world is connected borderless, selling merely local products can be
therefore
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 considered the limitation of making income for any organization.
For example
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, In Japan, it is undeniable that the traditional food of the country which can be its identity is raw fish. With the country representing only
such
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 identical products as sushi to its citizens, there will hardly be chances to earn more money compared to selling the product
along with
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 other imported foods.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend can provide both negative and positive results. The most obvious drawback of
such
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 a trend is that local stores are being interfered with by a number of international organizations which logically have more ability to reduce their cost
due to
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 their mass production.
Nevertheless
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,
although
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 selling domestic products alone can force sellers to have limited chances of earning income, the presence of international competition can
otherwise
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 increase the competitiveness of domestic companies in the business world.
For instance
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, not only the quality of the meal but its diversity and development can meanwhile be improved when being completed.
To conclude
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, more supermarkets sell more international foodstuff because of more opportunities gained in the view of entrepreneurs which, in my opinion, can provide both negative and positive impacts.

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coherence cohesion
It's important to structure your essay in a clear and logical manner. Make sure each paragraph contains one main idea and that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use transition words to help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. The introduction should outline the main points that you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and state your final opinion.
coherence cohesion
Back up the main points of your essay with specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument more convincing and help you to achieve a higher score in this criterion.
task achievement
Your response should be complete and cover all parts of the task. Make sure that you address both aspects of the question about the reasons for the trend and whether it is positive or negative.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are both clear and comprehensive. They should be easily understood by the reader and cover the topic in sufficient depth.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points. This makes your essay more engaging and provides evidence for the arguments you are making.
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