IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Children should go school or teach at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.

#children #school #home #aspects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, people have been discussing about where is the most effective place for
students
Use synonyms
 to learn. The first argument said they should be in a centred place like
school
Use synonyms
 whilst others support them to learn from any places
such
Linking Words
 as home or cafe.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 analyze both of the views with relevant examples before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, some groups agree that conventional learning methods make it plausible to gain a disciplined attitude,
such
Linking Words
 as attending on time, wearing a uniform, and cleaning the classroom.
This
Linking Words
 habit will be
giving benefits
Correct word choice
beneficial
show examples
 for their future life.
For example
Linking Words
, in Indonesia, there is a report that people who obey the
school
Use synonyms
's rules are more likely to perform in the company they work for.
This
Linking Words
 reason explains why a lot of people prefer the conventional education
system
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some parents have encouraged their children to join the modern education
system
Use synonyms
, which lets them have more flexibility. With
this
Linking Words
 method,
students
Use synonyms
 do not need to attend classrooms.
This
Linking Words
 way is believed that
students
Use synonyms
 will be more relaxed and reduce their academic stress rate.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Western education, the
students
Use synonyms
 are responsible for choosing their own major subjects and deciding where they are conducted so that they can allocate some hours for their hobbies and passions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some countries choose
this
Linking Words
 method. To summarize, the conventional
system
Use synonyms
 helps create manners
while
Linking Words
 the modern
system
Use synonyms
 lets
students
Use synonyms
 manage their time well. Both of the arguments have strong reasons why it should be conducted.
However
Linking Words
, which is better at
school
Use synonyms
 or anywhere depends on the person.
Students
Use synonyms
 must be the ones who decide where they want to learn. That way, they can suit their needs with
school
Use synonyms
. .
Submitted by farrandyerza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on your examples and make sure they directly support the points you're discussing for more relevance.
Task Achievement
Work on the clear presentation of the main topic in the introduction and the restatement of this in the conclusion for enhanced clarity and focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs and clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your examples further to clearly support your main points and directly relate to the aspect being discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: