IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents believe that reading entertainment books is a waste of time. In their opinion, children should only read severe educational books. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and include relevant examples from your own experience.

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It is said to be a waste of time
read
Fix the infinitive
to read
show examples
 fiction books,
according to
Linking Words
 hundreds of parents concerned about
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 of their prole. They think true knowledge
come
Change the verb form
comes
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 from educational books and must be compulsory
only
Fix the infinitive
to only
show examples
 read
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of things. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elucidate my disagreement with that statement based on my beliefs.
To begin
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 with,
view
Wrong verb form
viewing
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 educational encyclopedias can be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intriguing task for the kids, leading to
read
Change the verb form
reading
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 a boring activity
in
Change preposition
apply
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which most of them can't put up with.
For instance
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, in my city two
tenths
Correct your spelling
two-tenths
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 of students actually enjoy formal text as a hobby, the others claim that they could assume
this
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 activity enjoyable if those
text
Change the determiner
texts
show examples
 were comics or fiction novels.
Hence
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,
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
interpret
Replace the word
interpretation
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 from non-fiction text is a good beginning in the lecture skills of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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infants.
In addition
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, mangas, comics, and graphic novels can enhance cognitive skills
due to
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 intrinsic complexity. Combine
this
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 with the motivation and interest of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 young,
as a result
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, their imagination, knowledge, and learning processes can be accelerated with astonishing consequences. As a sample, in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 there is a kid
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 started reading 'Hamler', he loved the story and preferred to go deeper into medieval literature. He finished reading the trilogy of Tolkien 'The Lord of the Rings' just when he was nine years old. Incredibly he understood
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
important
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 at school
such
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 as geography, linguistics, character development,
emotional
Correct word choice
and emotional
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 intelligence and
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
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 a lot of words that no educational books would do.
To sum up
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, I don't disregard articles and objectives lectures, but the aforementioned notions I described give another perspective, and I disagree completely with the idea of not considering fantasy and imaginative lectures as a way of education, I
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 parents to use the benefits of the entertained education.

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Introduction & Thesis
Provide a clear introduction that directly addresses the topic and states your opinion. Avoid vague statements and make sure your thesis is specific and sets the direction for your essay.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all following sentences logically support that main idea. Avoid including information that does not support or develop the topic of the paragraph.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across sentences and paragraphs, such as 'Furthermore,' 'For example,' and 'Consequently.' This will help the text to flow more naturally.
Use of Examples
When providing examples, make sure they are specific and directly related to the point you are trying to make, as this helps reinforce your arguments.
Conclusion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This should be in line with what was stated in your introduction.
Task Response
Address the task by giving your clear opinion in response to the prompt. Back up your opinion with focused arguments and relevant examples from your experience or knowledge.
Grammar & Sentence Structure
Proofread to avoid grammatical errors and ensure proper sentence structure, which affects the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • literary fiction
  • non-fiction texts
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • empathy
  • genre diversity
  • pedagogical approach
  • intrinsic motivation
  • reading retention
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