Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Some
people
argue that
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
scientist
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scientists
show examples
or technology
expertist
Correct your spelling
expertise
experts
look
valuable
Correct quantifier usage
more valuable
show examples
rather than musicians and
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artists
show examples
artist
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artists
show examples
in our society, I believe
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scientists
show examples
scientist
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scientists
show examples
seem valuable because
thier
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their
impact
Change preposition
on
show examples
for
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on
show examples
our
environment
and related current
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issues
show examples
issue
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issues
show examples
in our society.
To begin
with, as
scientist
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a scientist
show examples
is difficult to accomplish a problem related
with
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to
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environment
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environmental
show examples
issue
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issues
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or
health
deases
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diseases
disease
.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
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scientists
show examples
commitment
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commit
show examples
to their lives to
gives
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give
show examples
all of their own for
this
occupation
also
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and also
show examples
discipline in their
research
to
achievment
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achieve
achievement
new
product
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products
show examples
which
gives
Verb problem
have
show examples
impact
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an impact
show examples
for
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on
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all
people
. For that reason,
scientist
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scientists
show examples
become respectful and well-known.
Scientist
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Scientists
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in
variaty
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various
field
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fields
show examples
such
as technology,
health
, and
environment
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the environment
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, all
of
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
try to
helping
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help
show examples
people
with their
research
.
For example
,
research
on
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in
show examples
health
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the health
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field. The
found
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finding
show examples
of vaccine covid-19
gives
Verb problem
is
show examples
beneficial
for
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apply
show examples
all
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
the world
which
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apply
show examples
most
people
struggle to fight
with
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apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
new virus
,
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apply
show examples
and currently doesn't worry again
with
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about
show examples
covid-19.
On the other hand
, musicians and artists
also
hard occupation for
entertain
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entertaining
show examples
people
from exhausted or after hardworking, not
much
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many
show examples
people
bravely perform to
facing
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face
show examples
a lot of
people
.
However
, there a plenty
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of opportunity
show examples
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
to become
entertaiment
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entertainment
.
For instance
, a women have 1 million followers
in
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on
show examples
their social media and
then
agency
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an agency
show examples
film
recruit
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recruits
show examples
her to become
a
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an
show examples
artist and
streaming
Wrong verb form
stream
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
all around the country. Different
with
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from
show examples
scientist
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need
dedications
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dedication
show examples
, working hard, plenty of
failure
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failures
show examples
, and so on. That makes
scientist
to become valuable jobs In conclusion,
It is
Verb problem
it
show examples
must accepted that
scientist
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scientists
show examples
is
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
working valuable job because whether they do
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
research
all of
this
for developed in related
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
such
as
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,
health
like medicine or
improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
show examples
of technology
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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your opinion clearly. The body paragraphs should each have a main idea, supported by examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarize the points made and restate your opinion.
cohesion
Work on connecting ideas more logically and smoothly. Use transitional words and phrases to help the reader understand the relationship between your ideas. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear connections.
development
Develop paragraphs with a single focus and multiple sentences that expand on that point. Avoid overly simplistic statements and strive for depth in your analysis.
example
Include specific examples to support your arguments. Use real-world instances, data, or hypothetical scenarios to illustrate your points more effectively.
task response
Address the prompt directly by exploring both sides of the argument thoroughly. Ensure that your essay reflects a balanced consideration of the topic and provides clear reasoning for your stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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