Some people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to apply stronger punishments. Others think that it would be harmful and there are much more efficient ways to do that. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There have been competing views on whether harsher sentences should be applied to lower criminal
rate
. In my opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
rates
Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
should prefer rehabilitation programs to Correct your spelling
government
adress
Correct your spelling
address
root
causes
in reducing criminal activities.
Applying stronger punishment to reduce crime
can give
Verb problem
have
deterrent
effect. Correct article usage
a deterrent
In other words
, if Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
can provide harsher sentences for criminals, it may discourage criminal behaviour for other people. Without Correct your spelling
government
this
policy, people will easily commence crime
for their own benefit as they think. However
, I do not think that the policy in question is an ideal way for crime
deterrence because recent
study shows increasing Add an article
a recent
severity
of Correct article usage
the severity
punisment
does not correlate with decreased Correct your spelling
punishment
crime
rates as it does not adress
Correct your spelling
address
root
Correct article usage
the root
causes
of crime
, and instead
of leading to overcrowded prisons.
Those on the other side of the argument say that rehabilitation programs for prisoners
which focus on skill development and educational opportunities are more efficient policy in decreasing crime
rates because it
can resolve their Correct pronoun usage
they
root
causes
. There is a fact that money is one of the most causes
Correct word choice
common causes
for
criminal activities, particularly for jobless people with debt to pay, and these programs will equip them with Change preposition
of
Add an article
the skill
skill
to match job Fix the agreement mistake
skills
opportunity
in the marketFix the agreement mistake
opportunities
,
and Remove the comma
apply
adress
the Correct your spelling
address
root
problem. Consider Chen
Zuckerberg Correct article usage
the Chen
foundation
in the United States Capitalize word
Foundation
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
educate
Correct subject-verb agreement
educates
prisoners
to
learn how to code, and has successfully decreased Fix the infinitive
apply
recidivism
rate in the country. I agree with Correct article usage
the recidivism
this
argument because educated prisoners
will be easily accepted by society and more likely do
not commit any more crimes in the future.
In conclusion, Unnecessary verb
apply
while
applying stronger punishment can deterrence
criminal motives, I believe it is best to grant Replace the word
deter
prisoners
with skill training because it is more likely to adress
the Correct your spelling
address
root
cause when they meet job opportunity
and reintegrate with society.Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence and cohesion
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coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and precision. Avoid overly long sentences which can be confusing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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