IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have had a problem with your next-door neighbor. You have not been able to speak to your neighbor about this. Write a letter to this neighbor. In your letter : Explain the problem Suggest a solution Say what action you will take if the situation does not improve

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my displeasure with the loud noise problem that has been going on for two days now. Please allow me to explain. When I arrived
at
Change preposition
apply
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home and started studying, I
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 hear very loud
people's
Change noun form
people
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laughs
Wrong verb form
laughing
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 and your party music.
As a result
Linking Words
, loud noises impact my concentration. To make matters worse, the party
lasts
Wrong verb form
lasted
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 for a very long time, more than 3 hours. I am disappointed because
this
Linking Words
 has been happening for 48 hours. I suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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organize all your parties or celebrations
while
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 I am at school from 8am to 1pm. If you agree with me, it will be good for both of us. So you will have more time to party. If you refuse my offer, I will complain about you to the appropriate places.
For instance
Linking Words
, to the police or to the chairman of the
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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. I look forward to your reply Yours faithfully, Samandar

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task achievement
The letter provides a clear explanation of the problem and a potential solution, which is a positive aspect in addressing the given task. However, it would be beneficial to provide more background details and context to better illustrate the situation.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and varying your sentence structures to improve the flow of ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Maintain a more consistent formal tone throughout the letter. Phrases like 'loud people's laughs' and 'party music' could be rephrased to sound more formal, aligning better with the writing tone expected for a letter of complaint.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, it would be helpful to create a stronger link between paragraphs. One way to achieve this is by using transitional phrases that signal the relationship between your complaint, proposed solution, and the consequent actions.
task achievement
You may want to avoid direct threats as they may escalate the situation. Instead, state that you hope to resolve the issue amicably but may be forced to seek external assistance if an agreement isn't reached. This would maintain a suitable writing tone and show your preference for a peaceful resolution.
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