Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#stress #illnesses

In the modern era,

people

, who live in

this

contemporary society, with stress-related issues have become relatively common compared to the past. For

this

phenomenon, there might be complicated causes of

this

issue

such

as heavy pressure from work and study and a high level of anxiety from competitions.

However

, fortunately, there would be possible solutions to address the

issue

To begin

with, those who live in the current world are exposed to a physically and psychologically taxed life with their work and study.

This

due to

the fact that

people

have a diverse of tasks that they have to achieve for their successful lives from their work and study. To exemplify

this

, students always have the burden to develop their potential for their future by completing and participating in their learning courses. When it comes to adults, they should put their effort into their self-development pursuing a better income and a greater work-life balance.

Hence

, these rationales can be considered as elements of increasing the level of stress.

Although

there is a significant

issue

with several contributions, there would be possible resolutions to deal with. One of the compelling solutions can be encouraging

people

to engage in their comfortable activities which help them relieve their mental stresses. As a salient example,

people

can go to gyms regularly to let negative energy go.

Furthermore

, physical movement is closely associated with hormones which stimulate

people

to be more positive. To make it happen, authorised departments can promote

this

information to everyone in the society by social media to increase society's perspectives related to

this

. With

this

method, the part of

this

issue

can be resolved.

To sum up

although

individuals might suffer from mental health issues with heavy stress from their professional lives and learning lives, conducting workouts or sports would be beneficial to reducing their stress levels as the biological hormones can impact their psychological status in a positive way.

Submitted by yeseulyou92 on Sun Feb 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the main ideas are explicitly stated and not just implied.

coherence cohesion

To improve the flow of the essay, use a range of linking devices effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

In your essay, provide more detailed and developed examples to support your points for a more robust argument.

task achievement

Make an effort to fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response covers the causes of stress-related illnesses, as well as a variety of solutions.

coherence cohesion

Use paragraphing to structure your response appropriately. Each paragraph should be well-developed, with a clear central topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main points of the essay and reflects back on the question, offering a final perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
constant connectivity
job demands
work-related stress
societal pressure
achieve success
erosion
work-life balance
exposure
negative news
social media comparisons
chronic stress
mental health support
stigma
flexible work hours
stress management techniques
mindfulness
access to mental health services
community support systems
emotional support

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Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Task 2: Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give yor own opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.. It is there fore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?