Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Over recent years, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a rapid increase in celebrity

followship

Correct your spelling

followers

because of their fame and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

class despite their achievements.

As a result

Linking Words

young

Add an article

the young

a young

show examples

generation is adversely affected by the high wishes

of achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

show examples

fame without working hard.

Although

Linking Words

, there are arguments on both sides

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I believe that recently the trend

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

changed and anybody who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

wealth to show is somehow famous. There are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of convincing arguments in favour of

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

being in

limelight

Correct article usage

the limelight

show examples

without possessing any real talent.

For instance

Linking Words

, in recent viral videos on social

media

Use synonyms

, a singer asks random

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

on the

road side

Correct your spelling

roadside

show examples

if they follow him on

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

spotify

Change the capitalization

Spotify

show examples

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

he gives them a bag full of money. Regardless of his singing talent, with the help of

this

Linking Words

trick

Add a comma

trick,

show examples

he has increased the number of fan following.

Moreover

Linking Words

, today's generation is only amazed by the

luxry

Correct your spelling

luxury

cars, big houses and the remarkable living standards celebrities have achieved.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they neglect the actual hard work and the talents which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

needed to be

appriciated

Correct your spelling

appreciated

However

Linking Words

Use synonyms

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

plays a vital role in amplifying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

glamour and money.

Still

Add a comma

Still,

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

ample

Change the article

an ample

the ample

show examples

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

reowned

Correct your spelling

renowned

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

who excel in their industry and are down to earth.

For example

Linking Words

, most of the sports persons who have represented their country in international sports are not recognised by

majority

Add an article

the majority

show examples

because sports is not a fancy industry.

Media

Use synonyms

fails to highlight their achievements which leads to misleading of youth.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it is evident that youth is

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affected by the

wrongfull

Correct your spelling

wrongful

wrongfully

information

avalable

Correct your spelling

available

on social

media

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Subsequently

Add a comma

Subsequently,

show examples

I believe that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of people are well known

as a result

Linking Words

of their beauty and status regardless of the hard work and talents behind it.

sanjeetkaursandhuMon Feb 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout and that each paragraph consistently supports this position without contradictions or irrelevancy.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument. Make sure each point flows logically to the next.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more focused and detailed examples rather than overgeneralized statements. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with grammar and punctuation as they can hinder the clarity of your ideas; even minor errors impact the overall professionalism of the essay.

task achievement

Address the prompt directly in your introduction and make sure to restate your main points in the conclusion for a complete and rounded response to the question.

task achievement

Pay close attention to the accuracy of language and vocabulary used. Aim for precision and variety in your word choice to more effectively convey your arguments and examples.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

superficial attributes
sensationalism
idolize
materialism
philanthropy
glamour
achievements
role models
humanitarian
influence
media portrayal
public adoration
celebrity worship
young individuals
unrealistic standards
intellectual success
public interest
professional recognition

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Climate change represents a major threat to life on Earth, but some people argue that we need to accept it rather than try to stop it. I completely disagree with this opinion, because I believe that we still have time to tackle this issue and reduce the human impact on the Earth's climate.
7.5
band
Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?
Many believe that throughout the education system from elementary school to the tertiary level, there is so much focus on imparting knowledge and not enough focus on teaching useful skills to students. I totally agree because students need to be inculcated with more skills to support their learning and also their lives beyond school.
7.5
band
Level of youth crime is increasing rapidly in the most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.
In this day and age, we can see news about youth crime around the world on many platforms. Most nations are concerned about witnessing the rapid growth of offences committed by youngsters. So this essay is worth considering.
6
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Limiting working time in a day for employees has been introduced in many countries. This kind of law is intended to create a better working environment for the workers and also for the whole business, so they are a positive development for both individuals and businesses.
6.5
band
What are advantages and disadvantage of use social networking? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience
In the cutting-edge era, there have promoted offline and online ways of social networking for a few decades. This tendency leads to the contribution of different age groups people support in need and compose their social bonding. In contrast, one major disadvantage is unrealistic interaction online. This essay will outline the pros and cons development of using social networking and expound on both reasons.

Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Level of youth crime is increasing rapidly in the most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this and suggest some solutions.

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

What are advantages and disadvantage of use social networking? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience