Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #people

Over recent years, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a rapid increase in celebrity

followship

Correct your spelling

followers

because of their fame and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

class despite their achievements.

As a result

young

Add an article

the young

a young

show examples

generation is adversely affected by the high wishes

of achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

show examples

fame without working hard.

Although

, there are arguments on both sides

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

I believe that recently the trend

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

changed and anybody who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

wealth to show is somehow famous. There are

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

of convincing arguments in favour of

person

Correct article usage

a person

show examples

being in

limelight

Correct article usage

the limelight

show examples

without possessing any real talent.

For instance

, in recent viral videos on social

media

, a singer asks random

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

on the

road side

Correct your spelling

roadside

show examples

if they follow him on

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

spotify

Change the capitalization

Spotify

show examples

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

he gives them a bag full of money. Regardless of his singing talent, with the help of

this

trick

Add a comma

trick,

show examples

he has increased the number of fan following.

Moreover

, today's generation is only amazed by the

luxry

Correct your spelling

luxury

cars, big houses and the remarkable living standards celebrities have achieved.

Consequently

, they neglect the actual hard work and the talents which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

needed to be

appriciated

Correct your spelling

appreciated

However

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

plays a vital role in amplifying

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

glamour and money.

Still

Add a comma

Still,

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

ample

Change the article

an ample

the ample

show examples

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

reowned

Correct your spelling

renowned

inviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

who excel in their industry and are down to earth.

For example

, most of the sports persons who have represented their country in international sports are not recognised by

majority

Add an article

the majority

show examples

because sports is not a fancy industry.

Media

fails to highlight their achievements which leads to misleading of youth.

To conclude

, it is evident that youth is

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affected by the

wrongfull

Correct your spelling

wrongful

wrongfully

information

avalable

Correct your spelling

available

on social

media

Subsequently

Add a comma

Subsequently,

show examples

I believe that

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of people are well known

as a result

of their beauty and status regardless of the hard work and talents behind it.

Submitted by sanjeetkaursandhu on Mon Feb 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout and that each paragraph consistently supports this position without contradictions or irrelevancy.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument. Make sure each point flows logically to the next.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more focused and detailed examples rather than overgeneralized statements. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with grammar and punctuation as they can hinder the clarity of your ideas; even minor errors impact the overall professionalism of the essay.

task achievement

Address the prompt directly in your introduction and make sure to restate your main points in the conclusion for a complete and rounded response to the question.

task achievement

Pay close attention to the accuracy of language and vocabulary used. Aim for precision and variety in your word choice to more effectively convey your arguments and examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

superficial attributes
sensationalism
idolize
materialism
philanthropy
glamour
achievements
role models
humanitarian
influence
media portrayal
public adoration
celebrity worship
young individuals
unrealistic standards
intellectual success
public interest
professional recognition

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Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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An English speaking friend wants to spend a two-weeks holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to find somewhere to stay give advice about what to do give information about what clothes to bring

Some people hold the view that a good teacher is more important for education success while others think the student’s attitude is more important to succeed in education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.