Nowadays, celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than their achievements, which has set a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Over recent years, there
is
a rapid increase in celebrity Wrong verb form
has been
followship
because of their fame and Correct your spelling
followers
the
class despite their achievements. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, young
generation is adversely affected by the high wishes Add an article
the young
a young
of achieving
fame without working hard. Change preposition
to achieve
Although
, there are arguments on both sides but
I believe that recently the trend Remove the conjunction
apply
have
changed and anybody who Change the verb form
has
have
wealth to show is somehow famous.
There are Change the verb form
has
number
of convincing arguments in favour of Change the article
a number
the number
person
being in Correct article usage
a person
limelight
without possessing any real talent. Correct article usage
the limelight
For instance
, in recent viral videos on social media
, a singer asks random individual
on the Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
road side
if they follow him on Correct your spelling
roadside
instagram
or Change the capitalization
Instagram
spotify
, Change the capitalization
Spotify
then
he gives them a bag full of money. Regardless of his singing talent, with the help of Correct word choice
and then
this
trick
he has increased the number of fan following. Add a comma
trick,
Moreover
, today's generation is only amazed by the luxry
cars, big houses and the remarkable living standards celebrities have achieved. Correct your spelling
luxury
Consequently
, they neglect the actual hard work and the talents which is
needed to be Change the verb form
are
appriciated
.
Correct your spelling
appreciated
However
, media
plays a vital role in amplifying Correct article usage
the media
the
glamour and money. Correct article usage
apply
Still
there Add a comma
Still,
are
Change the verb form
is
ample
Change the article
an ample
the ample
number
of Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
reowned
Correct your spelling
renowned
inviduals
who excel in their industry and are down to earth. Correct your spelling
individuals
For example
, most of the sports persons who have represented their country in international sports are not recognised by majority
because sports is not a fancy industry. Add an article
the majority
Media
fails to highlight their achievements which leads to misleading of youth.
To conclude
, it is evident that youth is adversly
affected by the Correct your spelling
adversely
wrongfull
information Correct your spelling
wrongful
wrongfully
avalable
on social Correct your spelling
available
media
. Subsequently
I believe that Add a comma
Subsequently,
majority
of people are well known Correct article usage
the majority
as a result
of their beauty and status regardless of the hard work and talents behind it.Submitted by sanjeetkaursandhu on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout and that each paragraph consistently supports this position without contradictions or irrelevancy.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your argument. Make sure each point flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more focused and detailed examples rather than overgeneralized statements. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and punctuation as they can hinder the clarity of your ideas; even minor errors impact the overall professionalism of the essay.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly in your introduction and make sure to restate your main points in the conclusion for a complete and rounded response to the question.
task achievement
Pay close attention to the accuracy of language and vocabulary used. Aim for precision and variety in your word choice to more effectively convey your arguments and examples.