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Band 7.5

Children in rural areas are being left behind in their academic development. why is this the case . What solution can you suggest

#children #areas #development #case
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In the modern era, the gap between the
city
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 and regional areas has become bigger which contributes to the children's academic development.
Such
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 a phenomenon can play a paramount role in lower children's academic development as the rural
area
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 would have less educational
infrastructure
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 compared to developed cities.
However
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, there would be a possible approach to address the issue. Both causes and solutions will be discussed below.
To begin
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 with, young
students
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 in the countryside might have less accessibility to concreting academic resources than their peers residing in the
city
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that the academic
infrastructure
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 would be less placed in the
area
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 as they might not have little demand as less as a small number of
students
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 in the
area
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.
This
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 may result in the young people living far from the developed
area
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 with lower achievement in their academic outcomes compared to the pupils in the
city
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 with a massive supply of academic data from school, private tutoring or extra supplementary for the best support for their learning courses.
Therefore
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, less
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 might be one of the rationales for
students
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 to be placed behind in their studying results.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, there is a possible solution to tackle
this
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 problem by activating online-based programs to improve accessibility to information to study. As a compelling instance, apps or platforms can be developed for fair support to all
students
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 regardless of where they live for one-on-one tutoring, small group studying, or self-studying.
Hence
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,
this
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 approach can make up the gap in knowledge resources for
students
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 who live out of a
city
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 not only to access
further
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 scientific data but
also
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 to help them increase their learning chances.
To sum up
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,
although
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 there is controversy about
students
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 having a significant difference in academic achievement between
students
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 in the regional
area
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 and in the big
city
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 because of the educational
infrastructure
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, enhancing internet-based resources can be a considerable solution.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly within and between sentences using a wider range of linking words and phrases. Also, strive to organize paragraphs clearly with a single main idea supported by various examples and explanations.
task achievement
To enhance task response, provide more specific examples to support your points, which will add depth to your argument. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, reflecting the essay question directly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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