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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this type of shopping outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries #type
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During the
last
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 decade, shopping online has become a general trend largely adopted by people, mainly by youngsters.
This
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 essay agrees with the fact that the benefits of e-commerce outweigh its drawbacks.Indeed,lower prices and access to a wide range of products are the principal advantages,
whereas
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 the impossibility of negotiating the price and the uncertainty of the quality of goods are the main disadvantages. Nowadays, the acquisition of diverse stuff through the internet,
on the contrary
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 to a decade ago,has become expanded.Indeed, the general population adopts
this
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 kind of trading because of its upper hand.In fact,people have access to a wide range of commodities depending on their needs.They are not limited to what a store would showcase or what the local shopping centres provide.In that way, the best example to be quoted is clothing.People can find everything they are willing to buy on the internet
in addition
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 to the matter that they can get it at the lowest price ever. Indeed,websites avoid taxes and storage fees
as well as
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 middlemen.
Hence
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, the price is always lower in these virtual shops than in physical ones.In order to highlight precisely that case, it is recognized that bills are always 10 to 20% lower through online shopping. The main disadvantages associated with online shopping are the impossibility of verifying the quality of the bought merchandise,
as well as
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 the loss of the negotiation opportunity. In
this
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 matter,the amount
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 for sure lower , but fixed,so customers aren't to lower cost, which leads to a loss of the bargaining culture.
Moreover
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, there is not any way to be sure about the aspect of the product.
For instance
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, it is impossible to verify that a shirt made in the sink or in any other fabric really is.Numerous customers are complaining about fake pics on websites and
also
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 about unsized articles.
To conclude
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, the main advantages of online shopping are the economical aspect of
this
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 genre of trading and the access to a diversity of goods.
However
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 certain downsides have to be mentioned
such
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 as the mediocre character of some products and the impossibility of negotiating discounts. Even if e-commerce became a consequential market, physical shopping still features a certain charm though.
Submitted by namoisma on

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coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence fluidity for better readability. Some sentences can be broken down for clarity.
task achievement
Include more specific examples, especially data or studies, to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The advantages and disadvantages are clearly outlined and balanced in the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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