Some people think that the main purpose of schools is turn to children good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purpose #schools #children #citizens #workers #benefit #individuals

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While

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the general role of the

school

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is widely recognized, the deeper debate on

education

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philosophy still concerns its primary focus. Some people argue that

school

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is supposed to produce useful citizens and workers for the future

instead

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of catering for individuals’ benefits. I totally agree with

this

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viewpoint.

To begin

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with,

school

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, being the mainstay of

education

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Remove the comma

apply

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is tasked with cultivating a well-behaved and well-informed population. As

such

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, it should prioritise equipping

students

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with relevant knowledge, skills and charisma to thrive in their future careers and, more broadly, society. Since children spend the first formative years at

school

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, they should be advised on how to tell right from wrong and perceive and react to the outside world properly. Put differently,

school

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plays a key role in instilling discipline, morality and integrity in the future generations of the population and workforce.

Moreover

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, schools are to ensure proper training to enable children to succeed in the job market. In the end,

education

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helps people make a living later in life,

while

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also

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provides manpower for economic growth. How well

students

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can integrate into and contribute to society is clear evidence of schools’ success.

In contrast

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, benefiting

students

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as individuals should not be the primary function of

school

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This

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is because an individualistic approach does not serve, if not distorts, the

education

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orientation of the

school

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. Heavy emphasis on individual needs can lead

students

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to care solely about self-interest, whereby they become self-centred and selfish. The promotion of individuality can colour

education

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, turning

this

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sacred work into a commercial commodity which

students

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buy for their personal use and schools sell for profit. In those cases, schools would fail to realize their initial educational mission. In conclusion, the priority of

school

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should be turning children into good citizens and workers

instead

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of serving individuals’ needs since it helps construct a functioning and harmonious society where nothing else is built

upon

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apply

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

For a more balanced argument, consider addressing counterarguments more explicitly and providing specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay richer and more comprehensive.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs to help maintain the flow of the essay. Although your points are clear, they could be better connected to enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, featuring a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported logically, making the argument persuasive and comprehensive.

task achievement

The response adequately addresses the prompt and provides clear, relevant ideas that align with the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

social responsibility
foundational knowledge
career success
economic contribution
personal development
critical thinking
creativity
emotional intelligence
balanced education
community well-being
holistic education
academic and personal growth

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Some people think that the main purpose of schools is turn to children good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to anatural environment.

Some people believe that cyclists must take exams before being allowed to take part in traffic.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often gives financial aid to developing countries although this not a solution to poverty therefore developed countries should give other types of financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?