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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Weddings are getting bigger and more expensive. What is the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, it has become common for many
people
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 to celebrate their weddings with a lot of guests spending a lot of
money
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. From my perspective,
this
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 is a cause of the desire to celebrate with a larger circle of friends and family, and it has a negative impact on
people
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 because of economic effects. There are many reasons why
this
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 is happening. The main one of them is that now numerous
people
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 have a desire to celebrate social events with a number of
people
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. To explain, they try to show off their wealth and gain a reputation in society by comparing themselves to other members of the community.
As a result
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, too much
money
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 is spent on wedding ceremonies and other parties, which is a waste of
money
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 and food.
For example
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,
according to
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 the recent survey findings carried on by the government, humans pay too much expenses for matrimonies and even some of them borrow a loan so as to organise them.
Therefore
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, it can be said the mentioned reasons are the causes of overspending. As far as I am concerned, the overspending of
money
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 and borrowing a loan may cause some financial troubles after the nuptials.
That is
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,
due to
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 the fact that all the
money
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 has been spent on weddings, they cannot pay back their loans to the lenders on time.
This
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 causes to stress of the
people
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 who cannot refund. If lenders do not get back their
money
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, they may sue them in order to take their debts.
As a consequence
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,
this
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 type of the
people
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 tends to have heart attacks and other illnesses relating to depression.
For instance
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, 5 per cent of individuals who experienced
this
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 situation were sentenced to prison.
Therefore
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, because of these reasons, celebrating in
this
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 way is not recommended. In conclusion, reputation and showcase may be the main causes of
this
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.
However
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, economic impacts after weddings can bring on long-term issues.

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay in a clear and logical manner, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Ensure there is a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph and that the following sentences develop that idea further.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your reasons and examples to better support your main points. Provide more specific details and evidence to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure you are fully addressing all parts of the task. Include both sides of the argument (the reasons for bigger and more expensive weddings, and whether it is a positive or negative development), and give equal discussion to each.
task achievement
Try to enhance the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitions and ensuring that each sentence contributes new information or analysis to your argument.
task achievement
Use varied and appropriate examples to support your arguments. While citing surveys or studies, include more specific data and sources to give your claims more credibility.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish
  • extravagant
  • nuptials
  • matrimony
  • social status
  • opulence
  • milestone
  • financial leverage
  • debt
  • peer pressure
  • consumerism
  • showcase event
  • ceremonial splendor
  • bridal extravaganza
  • market forces
  • commercialization
  • budgeting
  • social comparison
  • destinal wedding
  • event planning
  • wedding vendors
  • loan
  • prestige
  • economic impact
  • mandatory spending
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