The table give information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in fivr countries in 2009.

The table give information about salaries of secondary/high school teachers in fivr countries in 2009.
The table illustrates
salary
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the salary
show examples
information of secondary school
teachers
in five different regions in 2009.
Overall
,
it is clear that
Luxenbourgh's
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Luxenbourg's
teachers
earned the highest remuneration package both starting of their career and after the 15
years
.
However
, it took rather long
years
to entitle top rate. At the starting point of the teaching career, Luxenbough's
teachers
recieved
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received
the highest payment was $80000,followed by
Denmark
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Denmark's
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$47,000,
Australia
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Australia's
show examples
$34600,and
Korea
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Korea's
show examples
$30500.
Moreover
, Japan paid the lowest
salary
for
teachers
compared to
other
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others
show examples
at the start of the period.
On the other hand
, After 15
years
,
teachers
in Luxemburgh who entitled to earn
attractive
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an attractive
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remuneration package than other nations which was $112000.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
,
Denmark
paid $54,000, followed by
Korea
$52600 and
Australia
$48000.
However
, Japan increased the
salary
after 15
years
to $490000. When it comes to
maximum
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the maximum
show examples
salary
earned,
teachers
in
Luxemburgh
Correct your spelling
Luxemburg
recived
Correct your spelling
received
receive
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
show examples
package of $139000
while
Korea
and Japan paid $84500 and $62400 respectively.
Australia
and
Denmark
payments
remains
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remain
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unchanged.
Teachers
in
Korea
had to wait 37
years
to reach their highest
salary
,
follwed
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followed
by 30 in
Luxemburgh
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Luxembourg
Luxemburg
and
Japn
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Japan
34
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for 34
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years
.
Finally
,
Denmark
and
Australia
took 8 and 9
years
respectively to pay
maximum
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the maximum
show examples
salary
for
teachers
.
Submitted by Praslah on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, teachers, years, denmark, australia, korea with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual salary
  • gross income
  • net income
  • cost of living
  • purchasing power parity (PPP)
  • economic indicators
  • wage disparity
  • median wage
  • livable wage
  • compensation package
  • inflation rate
  • educational funding
  • professional development
  • currency exchange rates
  • teacher retention
  • standard of living
  • qualifications
  • experience level
  • tenure
  • collective bargaining
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