in many counties, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays more and more human beings are beginning to opt for Western attire,
instead
of cultural wear, mainly due to
changes in trends and comfort. I believe it's neither a positive nor negative development,
since it's a personal choice.
The reason why many are starting to wear Western clothing Is because it’s the trend nowadays. Remove the comma
apply
Additionally
, it is more comfortable compared to traditional clothes, since ancestral wear is usually fancy and uncomfortable. A Western wardrobe has a great variety of choices, which allows individuals to express themselves through their clothing, and be unique. Secondly
, in most settings, you have to follow a dress code. For example
, you cannot wear cultural dresses to work, you have to dress formally.
what a human being wears is completely their option, as they have the right to choose what they prefer. Moreover
, the selection of their clothing type does not have any positive or negative effect. Furthermore
, if someone wants to wear traditional clothing and be prideful of their culture, that’s their decision, and if they choose to wear western style attire, that’s also
okay,people should be able to select the type of clothes they feel most confident in.
In conclusion, in the 21st century, western style is becoming the trend and what most people opt for, rather than traditional clothing. However
, I do not believe this
is a negative development, and neither a positive one, since it doesn’t affect anything, but how the person that is
wearing the clothing feels, their comfort is all that matters.Submitted by mubinamukhtorjonova on
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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, it would be beneficial to explore the topic more comprehensively by discussing both sides of the argument in more depth. Although you mentioned that the development is neither positive nor negative, the essay would benefit from having more specific examples to support this balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better coherence and cohesion score, it's important to structure the essay more logically, with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea. Use cohesive devices to better link your ideas and provide smoother transitions between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For the task response criterion, ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompts provided, offering definite opinions where necessary and explaining the rationale behind them. You could strengthen your position by giving stronger reasons or explanations for the prevalence of Western-style clothing, and explicitly stating whether this is a trend you consider to be positive, negative, or neutral, with justification.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Also, make sure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of the essay clearly and concisely.
Task Achievement
Adding more relevant examples would significantly benefit your essay. Examples help to illustrate and support the points you make, and it's advisable to include them to substantiate your arguments. This applies to both the concept of comfort and expressing individuality, as well as to the context of dress codes in the workplace.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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