Some people work for the same company or organisation during their whole working life,while other say that it is better to work for different companies and organisations. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Whilst certain individuals prefer to remain loyal to the companies that they work for many years, others claim that changing the employers provides a faster
career
advancement. I personally uphold the view that each option has its own plus and minuse
effects.
First and foremost, some Correct your spelling
minus
minuses
people
prioritize working for one company
over switching multiple companies although
the second option provides a faster career
growth opportunity. This
might be due to
a prevalent case called being in a comfort
zone. When workers are entangled in their comfort
areas, they refuse to challenge the status-quo
,Correct your spelling
status quo
thus
, uphold to
a more Wrong verb form
upholding
secured
lifestyle. To illustrate, though we call Replace the word
secure
this
trap as
the Change preposition
apply
comfort
zone, it has nothing to do with comfort
, instead
it Add a comma
instead,
aggrevates
Correct your spelling
aggravates
aggregates
the
future conditions for Correct article usage
apply
people
by turning them into less competitive candidates in the job
market. Moreover
, there are only a few businesses left which
Correct word choice
that
guarantees
Correct subject-verb agreement
guarantee
a life-long opportunities
for their loyal employees, furnishing them with inducements and bonuses. Correct the article-noun agreement
a life-long opportunity
life-long opportunities
For example
, Virgin
Atlantic business conglomerate Correct article usage
the Virgin
incentivize
its workers in accordance with the amount of their time within the business, making it Correct subject-verb agreement
incentivizes
as
a desirable Change preposition
apply
job
provider.
On the flip side, nowadays, people
try to constantly move from company
to company
every 3 to 5 years. The most salient reason behind this
occurrence is that these people
seek new opportunities for career
advancement and skill development. It goes without saying that switching industries allows individuals to develop a comprehensive background knowledge
, making them competent professionals sought after by Remove the article
comprehensive background knowledge
a piece of comprehensive background knowledge
job
recruiters.
In conclusion, despite certain people
has
agreed to settle with one Correct subject-verb agreement
have
company
for a lifetime, other ambitious people
exhibit a pattern of frequent job
changes owing to popular reasons such
as faster career
growth and company
instability.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay does present a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, there could be an improvement in the way ideas are developed in the body paragraphs. In the first body paragraph, the points made could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the argument. Similarly, in the second body paragraph, the argument would be stronger with more specific examples of how switching companies can lead to career advancement and skill development. Work on enhancing the depth and complexity of the discussion to improve the logical structure and supported main points.
task achievement
While the essay discusses both views and provides an opinion, it does not fully develop all components of the task. The discussion on why people may choose to stay with one company is rather simplistic and could be expanded to include additional reasons and a broader range of consequences, both positive and negative. The section on the benefits of switching companies would also benefit from more detail. To improve the task achievement score, make sure to explore all parts of the prompt in depth, providing a balanced discussion with a clear, well-supported opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.