IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, robots will do more and more jobs instead of humans. do this development have more adavantages or disadvantages?

#future #robots #jobs #humans #development #adavantages
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Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation , a tendency to replace humans with
robots
Use synonyms
 in all fields of work can be observed. It is agreed, that
this
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 innovation has overwhelming drawbacks and the main one is that
this
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 issue contributes to unemployment.
This
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 essay,
firstly
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 , will discuss what positive sides can be seen,followed by an analysis of disadvantages.
To begin
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 with, technological progress influences
people
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's lives with a huge amount of advantages every day,regardless of the field which is discussed.
Consequently
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, the appearance of
robots
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 contributes to
decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease
show examples
 in the number of tasks which are time-consuming for workers.
For example
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, when it comes to restaurant services, waiters can take orders and care about creating
pleasant
Add an article
a pleasant
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 atmosphere for guests,
while
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robots
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 serve tables with dishes.
In addition
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, office workers can focus on advertising or ideas to increase income,
instead
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 of monotonous paperwork.
On the other hand
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, each development has two sides and the existence of
robots
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 is not an exception. Despite a few benefits , risks are dangerous for humanity,since
people
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 would become useless if AI did all responsibilities properly.
Moreover
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, the technique does not require
salary
Add an article
a salary
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,
thus
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 employees will probably be satisfied with the ability to provide
work
Correct article usage
a work
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 process without
people
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.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 issue encourages the level of unemployment, which consequences are homelessness, poverty, growth of crime level and economic crisis.
For instance
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, if
people
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 do not have money to purchase goods, the rate of thefts will rise sharply.
Additionally
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,
robots
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 can not guarantee trouble-free operation,as any technique is not 100% reliable.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay agrees that robot usage has some advantages,
however
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, the possibility of replacement of
people
Use synonyms
 by them will have an adverse impact on society.
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coherence cohesion
Remember to clearly structure your essay, including an introductory paragraph, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. This may include pronouns, conjunctions, and transition words. Overusing the same words or phrases can make the essay seem repetitive, so try a variety.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph provides clear support for the main points being discussed. Develop each point further with explanations, examples, or evidence.
task achievement
Make sure that the essay fully addresses the task by presenting a balanced argument on the benefits and drawbacks of robots replacing human jobs. Be sure to provide a clear opinion and back it up effectively with arguments and examples.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and easy to follow. Aim for comprehensive development of ideas within each paragraph, avoiding superficial treatment of the topic. The ideas should progress logically throughout the essay.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to support the points made. While hypothetical examples can be useful, concrete examples based on realistic scenarios or real-world events are often more persuasive and engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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