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Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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These days some teenagers are encouraged to take a gap
year
 either to discover a new country or join to
work
 before
enter to
Wrong verb form
entering
show examples
 the tertiary
year
. There are both pros and cons to spending a
year
 exploring and getting an experience or feeling unfamiliar with that. In my opinion, it is an opportunity to learn a new language and another culture specifically at that age.
Also
 If they
work
, they will raise their responsibility and make them more independent. There are two benefits that will engage the
students
 to travel or
work
 before the first
year
 in university .
Firstly
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 makes the
students
 enthused to live abroad to see different cultures, taste different kinds of food and think deeply to understand the world.
In addition
,
students
 who choose to
work
 look at the value of money.
Furthermore
, they will get an experience of living and they will realize how to be more responsible when they earn money.
On the other hand
, there are many drawbacks.
Firstly
,
students
 will feel homesick when travelling to a foreign country.
Whereas
teenagers
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
students
 usually are not separated from their families.That
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will lead them to feel unfamiliar
to travel
Change preposition
with traveling
show examples
 abroad.
In addition
,
students
 who engage in
work
 during a gap
year
 may lose their motivation when they start university.
Subsequently
,
this
 may have a negative impact on their future.
Submitted by zaidamrat5 on

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structure
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examples
Work on providing clear, real-life examples that support your main points. Specific examples add depth to your argument and demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking and analysis.
cohesion
Avoid repetition and try to use a range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will make your writing more coherent.
task response
Remember to address all parts of the task. Both the advantages and disadvantages should be discussed thoroughly, and a clear personal response should be given.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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