Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world, people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.

Many aspects of culture and

people

Use synonyms

's lifestyles are becoming increasingly similar throughout the

world

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has some benefits, I would agree that the disadvantages are more noteworthy. On the one hand, the global reach of fashion brands, similar eating habits and similar traditions of

people

Use synonyms

have some major benefits.

For instance

Linking Words

, Starbucks, the renowned coffee chain, has grown from a single outlet in Seattle to as many as 30,000 shops in around sixty countries. Nearly identical stores serve cups of coffee to hundreds and thousands of customers, no matter whether you are sipping it in New York, London, New Delhi, Melbourne or Istanbul.

Thus

Linking Words

the global business opportunity enables many brands to sell products all around the

world

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can enjoy fashion, food and other aspects of diverse nationalities staying

Change preposition

show examples

home

Correct pronoun usage

their home

show examples

country. A stronger bond could be observed among

people

Use synonyms

no matter where they live

as a consequence

Linking Words

of their similar lifestyle.

Thus

Linking Words

the differences among nations are reducing and

this

Linking Words

is quite helpful in maintaining

world

Use synonyms

peace.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has some striking disadvantages that we should be cautious about.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the spread of cross-cultural materialistic lifestyles and attitudes makes us less human and more selfish.

For example

Linking Words

, the role of TV advertisements by global brands, in most cases, is related to the concept of materialism. We are affected by terminal materialism that forces us to buy things for the sake of buying,

instead

Linking Words

of buying for basic needs.

Secondly

Linking Words

, with the aggressive spread of market economies and communication technology, local cultures and values are in peril. The true identity and culture are in jeopardy with the influence of alien cultures and the new generation cares less about their history and tradition. In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawbacks of globalisation and the similar lifestyle of

people

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the similar culture in the

world

Use synonyms

far outweigh the few advantages it has.

jennitobon16

Feb 6, 2024

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task response

Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your position on the prompt. This will help the reader understand your stance from the beginning.

task response

Continue to develop your main points with a mix of complex sentences and clear linking words, but try to dive deeper into specific examples in order to strengthen your argument and make your ideas more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Maintain logical structure throughout your essay by clearly organizing your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and this idea should be supported by relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

For higher marks in coherence and cohesion, try to vary your transitional phrases more and ensure that every sentence smoothly leads to the next. This will enhance the flow of your ideas and the overall readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

While you have provided a conclusion, aim to more clearly restate your thesis and summarize the main points of your argument, ensuring that the conclusion acts as a firm anchor for your entire essay.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

homogenization
monoculture
cultural diversity
globalization
innovation
tolerance
economic growth
consumer culture
interconnected
unique cultural identities
cultural richness
global peace
environmental impacts
accelerate

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Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.