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Writing Samples
Band 7

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the past, people used
tradition
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 for their peace of life, but nowadays, some argue that
tradition
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 is irrelevant because leave behind. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
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 view, and
this
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 essay will explain
traditions
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 still relevant in the modern era.
First,
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long ago,
tradition
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 became a moral compass for a better life. To illustrate, some culture still keep their
traditions
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 to balance their lives in every aspect.
For example
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, eastern culture keeps balancing between nature and humans. They believe everything is correlated with each other, like health and geography. Locals still believe in positioning their homes
according to
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 the sunrise direction because sunlight is natural vitamin D for
healthy
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health
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 and gives enough light and energy for their home.
This
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 belief was inherited a thousand years ago and is still relevant until now.
Therefore
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,
tradition
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 is still relevant, especially for human existence.
Next,
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customs have become national identity. In some countries, they build their country by gathering and invading some ethnicities and areas.
For instance
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, the Republic of China was made from invasion and gathered some ethnics in China. Because of that, China keeps its way of life, unique food, and traditional clothes.
This
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also
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 attracts tourist and many Chinese descendants to learn their customs and help to preserve it as a cultural heritage.
Thus
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, customs will strengthen national identity by learning and understanding it. In conclusion, leaving
traditions
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 for the sake of modernism and progression is not the best choice since
traditions
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 help countries adapt to the world nowadays and reinforce the country's identity.

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to address the extent of agreement or disagreement directly.
coherence & cohesion
Work on clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
Develop the main ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence & cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
In the conclusion, reiterate your thesis and summarize the main points without introducing new information.
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