Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The internet has infiltrated all
aspect
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aspects
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of our
lifes
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lives
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,
revolutionazing
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revolutionizing
revolutionising
the present
education
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system by enabling students with
flexibility
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the flexibility
show examples
to study from home.
While
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certain individuals contend the notion that the necessity for schools is foregone and schoolers can be educated through online learning platforms, other people claim the opposite view by emphasizing the importance of
conventional
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the conventional
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school
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education
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system. First and foremost, in the present, only a few schools offer either hybrid
of
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or
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completely online
education
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choices for pupils to choose from. Global
phenomenons
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phenomena
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such
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as
the
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apply
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COVID-19
has
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have
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terminated all open-ended questions that were raising apprehension by conservatives
whether
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about whether
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an online
school
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education
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could be relied on or not. To cite an example, local schools in Azerbaijan performed
two
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for two
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consecutive years through online meeting tools like
zoom
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Zoom
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and
microsoft
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Microsoft
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.
Furthermore
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, in the case of an emergency, having
this
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educational agility could come
handy
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in handy
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to ensure the sustainability of
school
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education
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regardless of the conditions. From another perspective, it takes a huge amount of time for some students to attend in a physical classroom,
therefore
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, online
education
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seems like the most pragmatic solution in the cases which are similar to
this
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.
On the other hand
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, it is my contention that making
school
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education
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online can be detrimental to
the
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apply
show examples
future generations. Because
,
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apply
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a
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apply
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physical contact and interaction between children and teachers is paramount at
this
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stage of human development.
Moreover
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, there are many properties and ethical subjects to be passed down by teachers to
studens
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students
student
which is not possible on an online programme. The importance of face-to-face
education
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is undeniable and
this
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expedites the entire learning cycle, by eliminating barriers and establishing a perfect communication channel between learners and teaching staff. In conclusion,
although
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existence
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the existence
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of a hybrid online
school
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might be fruitful amidst an emergency situation, a thorough transition from conventional to the online
school
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system could be downgrading,
thus
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should not be considered by the
Ministiry
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Ministry
of
Education
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.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but you can improve the overall structure by presenting your main points more systematically. Try using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion. Provide more specific examples to support your points for a more effective response.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to create a more cohesive argument. This will help the flow of your essay and make the relationship between ideas more apparent.
task achievement
Refine your conclusion to more directly reflect the viewpoints presented and your stance. It should effectively summarize your discussion and clearly state your position on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • customizable learning pace
  • global connectivity
  • social skills development
  • self-discipline
  • unequal access to technology
  • structured environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • supervised learning
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • peer pressure
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