Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is positive or negative trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today, most individuals who are suffering from various diseases tend to use
drugs
Use synonyms
without any consultation with their medical doctors. It is undeniable that
this
Linking Words
issue has become a significant issue in contemporary society. In my opinion, in the long run,
this
Linking Words
event may lead to bad effects on the public's health. First of all, I believe that many
drugs
Use synonyms
have known and unknown side effects. Doctors study hard for many years to receive acceptable knowledge in
this
Linking Words
context.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are a lot of factors including age, sex, disease history etc. which are involved in a decision made by a doctor to write a prescription and propose a special medication.
while
Linking Words
, people easily surf the net to find a drug to relieve them of their illnesses without considering the conditions.
Consequently
Linking Words
, we witness various types of cancers that are increasingly growing among our generation and currently, there is no scientific reason behind getting infected.
Secondly
Linking Words
, using
drugs
Use synonyms
may result in the resistance of our body to different viruses and bacteria. A recent study conducted by the World Health Organization revealed that during the
last
Linking Words
decade drug effects have dramatically decreased
due to
Linking Words
excessive consumption of medications. To recap, in my mind, it is crucial to consider
this
Linking Words
context by governments and health organizations to pass laws to make it forbidden
selling
Change the verb form
to sell
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
to people without their doctor's prescription.
Submitted by zari.shamsa40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Think about specifically addressing both sides of the argument to present a more balanced view, especially when discussing whether a trend is positive or negative. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data to support your points. While you mention a study by the World Health Organization, adding more details or other examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a clear structure, try to enrich it by improving transitions between ideas for smoother flow. This includes varying sentence structures and using linking words more effectively.
coherence cohesion
To further support your main points, consider elaborating on the consequences of self-medication and the importance of professional guidance in healthcare.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear stance on the issue, which is good practice for a persuasive essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a conclusion that summarises your arguments and stance, maintaining a good essay structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task directly and provides a clear opinion, which is crucial for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: