IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified food is a possible solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #shortage #food #think
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The production of human-directed manipulation
crops
 is assumed to be a way to tackle the hunger crisis in different societies nowadays. As far as I am concerned I completely agree with
this
 statement. In fact,
GM
 cuisine not only can provide a high level of crop production but
also
 produce
crops
 at affordable prices.
Firstly
, the industrial level in producing genetically modified flora can be a good response to the hunger population in various areas.
This
 is because
GM
 foods can be produced in large quantities by considering industrial techniques for different greenery,
for example
, wheat, potatoes, and beans.
This
 can yield more herbicide-resistant and virus-tolerant
crops
 resulting in take advantage of less side waste production.
Consequently
, the process of
GM
food
 can make more manufacturing in comparison with traditional ones. As an illustration, in 2010, in Nagasaki, Japan, genetically modified wheat produced by industrial process on a land with 500 square meters, was 12 times more than traditional ways in the same size ground, as reported by the Daily Telegraph.
This
 can assert that industrial manufacture used in
GM
 fare can alleviate the foodstuff deficiency in our world.
In addition
, the affordability of the cooking produced by human manipulation for poor individuals can decrease cuisine inadequacy around the world. Utilizing
GM
food
 can lead to less water, less land, and less herbicide resulting in cheaper prices for
this
 range of
crops
, so more poor people
such
 as inhabitants in suburban areas in African countries, can take enough meals for their families. What the world would be like if
GM
food
 had not been invented? All in all, I would reaffirm that
GM
food
 can be a realistic solution for starvation these days. It is related to the fact that
GM
food
 can be yielded in more sizable mass and at the same time less price in comparison with usual ways
Submitted by pooriya29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more logical and cohesive structure in your essay. Introduce clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your main points with more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
language
Avoid overusing complex vocabulary or structures if they compromise clarity. It's important to convey your ideas succinctly and clearly, which sometimes means opting for simpler language that effectively communicates your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • shortage
  • genetically modified
  • crop yields
  • wastage
  • resistant
  • pests
  • diseases
  • potential health risks
  • biodiversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: