IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the modern epoch, a host of folk, including me, believe that with the progress of technology, life become easier.
Thus
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, we have numerous applications for sharing our feelings.
Although
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 there are several pros to using social
media
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, a number of cons can not be overlooked. On the one hand, A large number of people especially youngsters prefer to
use
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 social
media
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.
For instance
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, Instagram, telegram etc.
due to
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 the fact that they can conduct some things
such
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 as introducing their products and posting on social
media
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,
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apply
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 so that people can see the goods and like them or buy them.
In addition
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, you can follow famous people or your
friends
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consequently
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 you can like them if you want.
Also
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, you can chat with your
friends
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 and send some amusing posts to each other.
Moreover
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, If you or your
friends
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 have some problems
such
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 as emotional illnesses, you can share these problems with each other to have a better life.
Furthermore
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, If pupils can not understand their lessons, they can watch some videos on YouTube or ask an AI.
On the other hand
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, we have numerous demerits if you refuse to
use
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 these applications as well.
For example
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, If you extremely
use
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 social
media
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, you lose your time and opportunities.
As a result
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, It is very significant you can understand that how to
use
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 social
media
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.
In addition
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, It is probably found by the wrong person and that person hurts your emotions so in my opinion, At first if you want to make a friend you should visit her or him vis a vis in real space. In conclusion, social
media
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 have a host of benefits
such
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 as you can find some
friends
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 or if you have a problem you can share with each other.
Moreover
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, as pupils, you can watch
video
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videos
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 related to your lessons. But, we have drawbacks if you
use
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 these applications badly, you can not bond with your family.

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Introduction Structure
Work on creating a more structured introduction that clearly introduces the topic and your main points. This will help the reader understand what to expect in the essay.
Conclusion Structure
End your essay with a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position on the topic in a clear and concise manner.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are directly related to it. Use topic sentences to guide the reader through your points.
Cohesive Devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to more clearly connect your ideas within and between paragraphs.
Idea Development
Develop your ideas further by providing more specific examples and explanations. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • information sharing
  • business opportunities
  • cultural exchange
  • cyberbullying
  • privacy concerns
  • addiction
  • mental health
  • misinformation
  • diversity
  • engagement
  • identity theft
  • cultural ideas
  • anonymity
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