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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

favorite subjects The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

favorite subjects The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart depicts the most likely
subject
Use synonyms
 of pupils in different intermediate
schools
Use synonyms
,
schools
Use synonyms
 A and
schools
Use synonyms
 B. By and large, both
schools
Use synonyms
 have huge differences
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 topics by the pupils.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
school
Use synonyms
 A has a dominant sports concern, with a hefty
thirty six
Add a hyphen
thirty-six
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 claiming it as the most popular
subject
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 craft or drawing
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the least popular
subject
Use synonyms
 by the pupils. Not only craft
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 language being the second of less
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 subjects by the
students
Use synonyms
.
Move
Wrong verb form
Moving
show examples
 to
school
Use synonyms
 B, the special
subject
Use synonyms
 picked by the
students
Use synonyms
 is
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 or drawing,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 science is the least loved
subject
Use synonyms
 by the
students
Use synonyms
 with only two
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
chosen
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 it,
while
Linking Words
 in
school
Use synonyms
 A, science was the second most popular
subject
Use synonyms
 which counted 9 scholars. Compared to
school
Use synonyms
 B,
school
Use synonyms
 A
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 slightly different proportions of social science lovers. In conclusion, the two middle
schools
Use synonyms
 have totally different preferences for the course of study.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subject, schools, school, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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