Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#computers #invention #years

Technology has improved a lot, and some people believe that

computers

are the most crucial development of the

last

century.

However

, I believe that

while

computers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

revolutionised many aspects

Change preposition

show examples

human lives,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

other innovations,

such

as the invention

Change preposition

show examples

transportation and machinery sectors,

also

play an important role in the life of human beings. We cannot deny the fact that

computers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

significantly contributed to our lives in the era of technological revolution 5.0. Through the platform of Google, someone can access a wealth of knowledge with a single click.

Moreover

, the role of

computers

extends beyond information retrieval.

For instance

computers

serve as

bedrock

Add an article

the bedrock

show examples

of innovation, empowering programmers to develop

generate

Correct word choice

and generate

show examples

applications and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of automation programs.

However

, it is essential to recognize that the realm of innovation is not monopolised by

computers

alone. Consider the remarkable advancements in transportation,

for instance

. The evolution from steam trains of yesteryears to the high-speed electric trains epitomized by Japan's Shinkansen represents a paradigm shift in human mobility.

Similarly

, the proliferation of advanced machinery in industrial sectors has catalyzed unprecedented levels of productivity and efficiency. Automatic machines deployed in factories exemplify

this

, streamlining production processes and reducing operational costs significantly. In conclusion, indeed, the innovation of

computers

plays a significant role in our lives, yet it is not the only significant advancement. The development in transportation and industrial areas is as important.

Thus

, I respectfully disagree with the assertion that

computers

reign supreme as the most important invention of the

last

hundred years.

Submitted by usedtobesomeoneyoulove on Thu Feb 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea, and that these ideas are logically organized throughout the essay. Use a variety of linking words or phrases to connect your ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, make sure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Include a more detailed analysis of how and why computers may be considered the most important invention, and potentially contrast them with other inventions to bolster your argument. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on them would also strengthen your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

invention
revolutionized
industries
communication
connectivity
productivity
efficiency
advancements
scientific research
technology
access
information
learn
limitations
disadvantages

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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