‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#‘some #people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is evident that there are split opinions regarding whether parents should control

children

to prevent making

mistakes

, meanwhile, others believe that they should have to be independent. I support the view that there is no justification for limiting own child. Those who advocate preventing infants from making

mistakes

may argue that their child is too little to make his decisions. There might be rational reasons to think that way because nowadays advertisements for drugs and alcohol are all over the environment, and it is available if the teenager has money. So that's why adults want to control their youngsters.

For instance

, the Times recently reported that 6 boys out of 10 were held on juvenile delinquency, it was proved that they all were away from home and not anyone's supervision.

On the other hand

, the other group holds the view that parents cannot make teenager's life by restricting them and saying what to do. To put it more simply even though adults may have more real-life experiences, anyway it does not help youth become responsible for their lives. From my perspective of view, adolescents should be able to make their own lives without the help of their parents.

This

is to say making

mistakes

is one of the most valuable lessons for

children

. Being allowed to make

mistakes

in their early years is a good practice to help

children

develop the ability to accept their

mistakes

and learn from them, building up themselves. In conclusion, I believe that overprotection may be harmful as it weakens

children

's ability to learn from their

mistakes

and stifles their growth.

Submitted by omarovaa.access on Thu Feb 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction

Ensure a clear and strong thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on your stance regarding the topic.

Coherence

Work on paragraph structuring: each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence.

Cohesion

Include a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow of the essay.

Supporting Details

Expand on the examples given by offering more depth and explanation as to how they support the main points.

Task Response

Make sure to address the task thoroughly by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion throughout the essay.

Conclusion

Refine the conclusion by summarizing the key points of the discussion and reiterating your opinion.

Examples

Avoid generalizations and strive to include more specific examples to substantiate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Freedom
Mistakes
Valuable life lessons
Problem-solving skills
Resilience
Creativity
Prevent
Dangerous
Life-altering
Adult supervision
Instill
Good judgment
Guidance
Harmful habits

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Surveys show that many people believe most jobs in the future will be done at home.Do you agree or disagree ?
Studies has findout that distance jobs like online jobs done from home has be come more common and popeular among people now adays for many resones , i agree with this notion becuse its reduce the companies workforce expensis in term of providing a place for there employees to work in .also it increas the productivity of the employees by working from there own comfort zone .
5
band
Some people think that scientists experimenting with animals in the laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use to what extent do you agree or disagree
Several individuals believe that conducting a laboratory testing to animals should be done in order to ensure it's safety ince it is consumed by societies. I tend to disagree with this statement due to its cruelty, while in fact, there is an alternative way when it comes to product testing these days.
8.5
band
Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you've done since the course suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer
Recently, I have taken a short cookery course at your renowned institute, and I am writing this letter to express how happy I am about the course, which I attended about a month ago, in an effort to enhance my culinary arts skills.
4.5
band
More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over resilience on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution.
These days, many people use private cars more than another transportation types like public transportation or use trains. But if every person starts to use his own car, it will lead to many environmental issues. In this essay, I will describe some problems and solutions.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
An array of masses argue that individuals who are doing professional jobs like engineering and healthcare services must remain and serve the country where they are educated because it is their responsibility to cater their service at least for some duration for the people who paid for their education indirectly while others say they should have the freedom to migrate and work as they like since it is their right to choose a place to work. However, in my opinion, they both are significant and need to be decided in a balanced way.

‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Surveys show that many people believe most jobs in the future will be done at home.Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that scientists experimenting with animals in the laboratory is the only way we can guarantee new products will be safe for human use to what extent do you agree or disagree

Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. In your letter, describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you've done since the course suggest another cookery course you'd like the school to offer

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over resilience on cars can cause and suggest atleast one possible solution.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.