IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Your local library is hearing a new member staff and you are interesting in applying for this position. Write a letter to the library manager to apply for the job

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Dear Sir or Madam, At the moment, I am studying at university,
thus
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 I have leisure time.
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Due to
Change preposition
apply
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I am trying to find a part-time job to cover expenses independently.I heard pertaining to
this
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 job from my repetitive, as my aunt works in your company . I am enquiring as to whether you currently have any positions in the area of librarian. I am completely keen on
of
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apply
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reading books and my education at university needs reading a lot as I am studying as a historian teacher.
In addition
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 to
this
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, I have experience in
this
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 area and worked in the school library from 2021 to 2022 before entering the University.
Furthermore
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, my mother worked as a librarian in her adult age for 10 years. She tells me frequently about what the staff does in these meetings
work
Verb problem
apply
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and some techniques that help
work
Correct pronoun usage
them work
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 more productively. As one important thing that I want to mention is that, I live near the library, within 5 minute's walk.
Thus
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 I will be on time ,without lateness
due to
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 there being frequent traffic congestion here,
however
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, I will walk to work. I feel that I am the best candidate for
this
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 job because of my ambition and drive to make a change. I appreciate your consideration of
this
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 application and look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Susana Lancaster

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more distinctly. Each paragraph should ideally focus on one main idea. For example, you could separate your qualifications and your passion for reading into different paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy, particularly in sentence structures. For example, in 'Due to I am trying to find a part-time job', you could say 'Because I am trying to find a part-time job'.
Task Achievement
You effectively communicate your enthusiasm for reading and your relevant experience working in a school library, which makes a strong case for your application.
Task Achievement
You have a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter, which is essential for a formal application.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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