Full-time students should spend a lot of time on studies but they should be involved in other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that whether social activities
besides
study are essential for full-time ungraduating learners or they should concentrate on studying. This
writer personally agrees with the first statement that students should engage in extracurricular due to
enhance soft skills
and bring about benefits for individuals and the community.
One of the most understandable rationales, why offspring necessitate enrolling in other activities, is enhancing soft skills
such
as critical thinking, problem-solving skills
and presentation. In the information age, technological growth is becoming more dominant than ever; therefore
, humans are capable of having an exceptional grasp which is thought to control artificial intelligence. Additionally
, interpersonal capabilities play a vital role in employment and appliance. For example
, employers will prioritize individuals who have highly qualified communication, creativity, dependence, and high-tech ability.
Another merit worth mentioning is that social events foster community and reduce stress. People who attend extracurriculars have opportunities to socialize, connect with others, relax, have fun, make new friends and build relationships as well as
resident aid. In other words
, the organization benefits residents through charity events such
as giving free meals and subsidies for the poor, the aged and the disabled, improving facilities in remote areas, and presenting clothes. Furthermore
, this
gives students feelings of satisfaction, and joy and alleviates stress endurance. For example
, recently, training points which include the level of participation in charity and social incidents are compulsory in university. It not only helps individuals more self-confident but also
brings advantages to citizens.
In conclusion, learners should integrate between studying and other actions appropriately. Despite the drawbacks, I still believe that the benefits of interpersonal skills
and community aid overshadow them.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly responds to all parts of the question. You've covered a wide range of points, but the essay can be more focused and better structured.
task achievement
Work on making the main ideas clearer and more explicit in your sentences. For instance, rephrase and simplify complex sentences to improve clarity.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but they could be more specific and tied more directly to the main arguments. Try to integrate examples in a way that strongly supports your main points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each main point. Try to link ideas between paragraphs more effectively for smoother transitions.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by using more cohesive devices like 'moreover', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand', etc., to better connect ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, and ensure the ideas within are consistently focused on that main idea.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your points on enhancing soft skills and community benefits are strong and relevant to the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?