In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

A significant number of

people

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living in some villages around the world are shifting their lives to more developed towns;

hence

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, the population of

people

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residing in rural areas is decreasing.

While

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this

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phenomenon brings several drawbacks,

such

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as the fact that villages remain undeveloped

due to

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the fact that the

people

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are moving away,

this

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essay agrees that the positive impacts outpace the negatives since the countrypeople are getting better jobs in the

cities

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. When the number of

people

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residing in rural areas decreases, the infrastructure in the area is more likely to be the same from time to time.

This

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due to

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the fact that the government has no urgency to develop the area as the citizens keep moving away to the

cities

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For instance

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people

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who live on a small, remote island will never see high-rise buildings in their area because there is no significant reason to build one.

On the other hand

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, when those

people

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are moving their lives to the

cities

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, there are chances that they will have better jobs and broad knowledge.

This

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is because their former hometowns do not have proper universities, and the job market is typically not producing enough wages.

Therefore

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this

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essay agrees that

this

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action will have a greater impact than a setback

due to

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this

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reason.

For example

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, several high school graduates are admitted to some top-ranking universities in other

cities

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;

hence

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, in the future, they will be able to seek better careers and brighter opportunities.

To conclude

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although

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there are some setbacks to rural citizens shifting their lives to better

cities

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such

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as leaving their hometowns undeveloped,

this

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phenomenon should be seen as a positive development because they will have greater chances for

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apply

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better education and,

thus

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, leveraging their careers.

nadillamntr

Feb 8, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Focus on developing a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the forthcoming arguments in your essay. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and strengthen the overall logical structure.

task achievement

Make sure to introduce your essay with a more balanced approach, showcasing both sides of the argument before stating your own position.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a more effective conclusion by summarizing your key points and restating your opinion, ensuring it encapsulates all the arguments made.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific, detailed examples that are directly relevant to the points being made. While the examples given are suitable, adding more depth and detail can enhance their impact and the persuasiveness of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?

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