IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others consider they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is a contentious issue what characteristics HR managers should value the most. Some believe that independent, innovation-driven individuals are the best to be recruited.
However
Linking Words
, others think it is a team working and respecting
rules
Use synonyms
 that recruiters should be sicking. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate on both points of view and explain why I value independence more.
To begin
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 with,
rules
Use synonyms
 are killing creative thinking.
For example
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, scientists say that every kid used to be a genius;
however
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, the school system is the cause of the rapid decrease of youngsters who end up being extraordinary students. Work influences in the exact same way on humans. Namely, because people need to follow instructions, they are not using parts of the brain responsible for innovative ideas.
Consequently
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, a company with
such
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 a staff develops tremendously slower than any other with the creative-thinking approach. Namely, Google is a company that gives its workers full flexibility and allows them
share
Add the particle
to share
show examples
 their own ideas.
This
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 is why,
this
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 company accomplished
such
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 a success.
On the other hand
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, some people are made for organized structures.
For instance
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, many perfectionists cannot function without clear instructions on how they should do each task. Control freaks are made for a system
that is
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 based on communication with a team that follows the same
rules
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, if colleagues collaborate, they will achieve the effect of synergy. It will allow them to make the same work faster, using significantly fewer resources.
Nevertheless
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, it is not a good choice for those who want their firm to be known for
modern
Correct pronoun usage
its modern
show examples
 and fast-paced environment.
To conclude
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, people argue if interviewers should pay more attention to individuals or collaborative candidates. Personally, I value flexibility more and believe that investing in creativity is a better option.
Therefore
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, I opt for HR to focus more on independent individuals rather than those who are in favour of
rules
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a good introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow between the ideas can be improved. Try to use more linking words, and ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main thesis.
task achievement
While both viewpoints are discussed, consider elaborating more on each side with clear examples and counterarguments to strengthen your position further.
task achievement
Some phrases need clarification. For instance, 'rules are killing creative thinking' could be more nuanced. Instead, express how rules limit creativity in a less absolute way.
task achievement
The essay discusses both sides of the argument, which is an essential part of the task. You've done well to articulate your own opinion clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
The use of real-world examples, like Google, effectively supports your argument regarding the benefits of independent, innovative thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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