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Band 7.5

In many countries, the crime rate amongst underaged people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

#countries #crime #rate #people
It is generally claimed that the crime rate is increasing drastically among the youth all over the world.
However
, we can witness several reasons for
this
 tendency
as well as
 alternative clues to solve
this
 issue. To start with, nowadays, more and more teenagers tend to make money easily and become well-known quickly.
For
this
 reason, they are more likely to commit different offences,
such
 as robbery, shoplifting, hijacking and cyber-crimes. Another major cause is that most parents do not pay attention to their children adequately.
As a result
, a child joins various criminal groups or violent gangs.
Finally
, one of the main roots of
this
 problem is that youngsters have got more free time to do these things. I mean that they are not busy with useful activities after school time. When it comes to its solutions, first of all, governments should provide pupils with a variety of recreational facilities almost every day, even at weekends.
Consequently
, they do not wander anywhere else and these activities can form them sociable citizens.
Secondly
, parents ought to take their offspring under control
as well as
 spare much more time with them like going outside with them playing both indoor and outdoor activities and helping them with their homework. The
last
 but not the least, young criminals should be educated and involved in community work in special colonies in order not to commit
such
 crimes. In conclusion,
whereas
 there are a number of causes of the high crime rate amongst the young generation over the past two decades, it is possible to deal with
this
 matter in different ways.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph focuses on one main idea or cause and fully develops it with clear examples before moving onto the next.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas more effectively throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and details to support each cause and solution mentioned to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Make certain that the conclusion effectively summarizes the causes and solutions discussed in the essay without introducing new ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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