IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that the pervasive accessibility of scientific
information
Use synonyms
 in various fields is valuable. Others,
however
Linking Words
, contend that public awareness of
such
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
 is not appreciated
due to
Linking Words
 the incredible significance of knowledge. I believe that available
information
Use synonyms
 should not only improve the quality of an individual's
life
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 avoid causing confusion. Supporters of open
information
Use synonyms
 sharing sites believe that accessibility to a wide range of data would increase the quality of
life
Use synonyms
 in all aspects, one of the significant aspects of which is physical health and
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, governments published preventive guidelines in order to reduce the number of infections.
Such
Linking Words
 as maintaining at least two meters of distance during conversations to prevent the spread of the virus.
Thus
Linking Words
, access to timely and accurate
information
Use synonyms
 can be crucial in saving lives.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that more
information
Use synonyms
 could create an opportunity to abuse. To be more precise, misunderstanding is one of the most
effects
Correct word choice
significant effects
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 availability as people of different ages have various understandings of one subject. As an example, Ritalin is a drug renowned for its highly focused impact. It should just be used for children who have ADHD , but some children, when they take an
exam
Punctuation problem
exam,
show examples
 do it without paying attention adverse effects.
As a result
Linking Words
, the more
information
Use synonyms
 access, the more challenges the community will face.
To sum up
Linking Words
, undoubtedly increasing people's access to
information
Use synonyms
 can allow them to improve their quality of
life
Use synonyms
 , but excessive action in
this
Linking Words
 regard will have reverse consequences. I strongly believe that
information
Use synonyms
 should be classified to prevent causing confusion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure the introduction clearly states your opinion and briefly outlines the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points, especially in the second body paragraph.
task response
Your essay presents both sides of the argument clearly.
relevant specific examples
The real-life example of the COVID-19 pandemic demonstrates the importance of accessible information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: