Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justifed while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own know/edge or experience. Write at least 250, words.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions #edge

In today’s climate, there is a debate about the amount of money athletes earn. There are two conflicting views regarding whether sportsmen deserve high

income

Correct word choice

whether it

show examples

is unfair.

While

a group of

people

argue

that is

justified, another group, including me, believes that they earn more than their efforts. Some

people

claim that tolerating

sports

difficulties makes

sports

professionals worthy to have a good

income

. It is an obvious

fact

that

sports

matches are extremely competitive and they should train hard and do daily exercises to be fit and strong.

For example

, in

sports

like weightlifting, they should update their records since there is always a chance that somebody else set a better record.

Besides

, successful

sports

persons are under the pressure of society since their fans expect them to win.

Therefore

, they have a hard life and live with unlimited stress. The other side of the argument believes that professionals in other fields should earn a great deal of money, too. There is no doubt about the athlete’s efforts but the truth is the

fact

that all

people

have difficulty in their professions. An illustration of

this

fact

is an engineer who studied for several years in university and after passing numerous exams he is working in a company with an

income

that is

about 1/10 of a sportsperson’s.

Moreover

, the majority of athlete’s

income

due to

the

fact

that they are popular among

people

and have a significant number of fans.

Therefore

, companies with different brands ask them to advertise their products.

Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on Thu Feb 08 2024

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Task response

Ensure a clear position throughout the essay which directly responds to the question asked. Develop a more nuanced opinion that links back directly to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize ideas logically and make clearer connections between them. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to help ideas flow more naturally.

Language

Incorporate a broader range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enrich the essay. Pay attention to grammar and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

256 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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