In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?
In many developed countries including Australia, there are social phenomenon that maternity leaves are prevalently allowed for new mothers after giving
a
birth for a certain period Remove the article
apply
while
they are securing their job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Although
they lead to possible
negative Add an article
a possible
situation
in Fix the agreement mistake
situations
company
to find a replacing worker during their leaves, the merits can be way greater not only Add an article
the company
a company
fo
family but Correct your spelling
for
also
for society
than demerits
.
First of all, it cannot be ignored that a disadvantage can be in place Correct article usage
the demerits
in
a company level. Change preposition
at
This
is because of the fact that they might exprience
Correct your spelling
experience
a
difficulty Correct article usage
apply
to find
Change the verb form
finding
a
Change the article
an
approapriate
person meeting their key selection criteria just merely filling the position in a short period. Correct your spelling
appropriate
This
basically might stop the corporation's work or put more burden on other co-workers on top of their own workload. Therefore
, this
can be seen as a negative perspective which can be considered in the workplace.
Nonetheless
, on the other hand
, this
special leave should bring more positive aspects in
Change preposition
at
a
family and Correct article usage
the
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
society
levels. When it comes to the family, mothers and babies can enjoy enough time to build up their attachment and bond as the family which plays a paramount role in a healthy family. Replace the word
societal
Furthermore
, in terms of the advancement in the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, the
positive culture Correct article usage
a
such
as encouraging and guaranteeing the circumstance of having personal leave for giving a
birth and nurturing their children with securing their job would eventually increase the rate of Remove the article
apply
brith
, and Correct your spelling
birth
this
will be great
benefit for the Add an article
a great
society
. Hence
, it cannot be deniable that there should be more positive viewpoints of
ensuring maternity leave for a Change preposition
on
while
.
To conclude
, the negative concerns can be pointed Change preposition
out that
that
employers might have Change preposition
out that
challanging
to look for someone Correct your spelling
challenging
Wrong verb form
to replace
replacing
the temporary empty positions. Change the verb form
to replace
However
, the more positive perspectives can be placed in the smaller and bigger communities such
as the family level and the sociel
level which end up leading Correct your spelling
social
societal
the
rate of birth.Change preposition
to the
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea and subsequent support for that idea.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with appropriate transition words or phrases to help the essay flow more naturally from one idea to another.
coherence cohesion
When presenting main points, ensure that each is backed up with specific examples or further explanation to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, not only by presenting the advantages and disadvantages but also by comparing their significance conclusively.
task achievement
Clearly state your position and maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay, providing a balanced and comprehensive view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas more clearly and effectively.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors, which can affect the clarity of your communication.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.