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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in опе country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information Ьу selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in опе country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information Ьу selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.
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he
Correct your spelling
The
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 given line graph provides information about how many shops are closed, and
on the contrary
Linking Words
, how many brand-new stores are established in a country, over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 7 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the graph is that, at the beginning of the term, the number of
market
Change to a plural noun
markets
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 which are opened is more than the ones that are closed.
In addition
Linking Words
, both of them experienced a falling trend.
While
Linking Words
, in the first year of the
period
Use synonyms
, individuals tended to open
boutique
Fix the agreement mistake
boutiques
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,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the duration, a greater number of stores closed. In 2011, the figure for opening shops was about 8500, and
then
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 saw a sharp fall to just under 4000, from
this
Linking Words
 point on, it fluctuated until the rate levelled off at approximately 3000 in 2018. Turning to the number of stores that are closed, the rate started at just under 6500 and there was a small drop to about 6000,
then
Linking Words
 it saw a few years of fluctuation until stood at the lowest rate in the given
period
Use synonyms
 around 500 in 2015.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 year it rose dramatically to just above 5000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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