The supplied bar chart above represents the data about people living in rural, urban and town who born in Australia or outside of state between 1995 and 2010.
The bar graph gives information about the percentage of
people
living in rural, urban and towns who were born in Use synonyms
Australia
or outside of the state, in two different periods between 1995 and 2010.
In general, we can see that the population of cities is the highest in both years, Use synonyms
by contrast
, the percentage of the population in rural Linking Words
areas
is increasing, unlike, the population of a town in 1995, Use synonyms
in addition
, it was approximately equal to the year 2010.
Linking Words
Firstly
, in 1995 Linking Words
people
born in Use synonyms
Australia
were 50.Use synonyms
In addition
,Linking Words
people
born outside Use synonyms
Australia
were 60.Use synonyms
Moreover
, Linking Words
people
who were born in a town in Use synonyms
Australia
and outside were 20 and 10.As for, Use synonyms
people
who were born in rural Use synonyms
Australia
and outside it is 30 and 40.
Use synonyms
Lastly
, in 2010 approximately62of Linking Words
people
were born in cities in Asturalia and outside . Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
people
were equally born in towns and rural Use synonyms
areas
in Use synonyms
Australia
. Use synonyms
By contrast
, outside Linking Words
this
country, Linking Words
people
were in rural Use synonyms
areas
5 and in town were twice as many borns in rural Use synonyms
areas
.Use synonyms
Submitted by sesjej1330 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast, in addition".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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