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Band 6.5

Some people think that economic development is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others argue that economic development is damaging the environment and needs to stop. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #development #world #poverty #hunger #environment
Some people believe that economic
development
 can solve the
poverty
 problem
while
 other people argue that the
environment
 is being damaged because of economic
growth
.In my opinion,economic improvement can not be stopped and we need to focus on environmental damage.
For
this
 reason,we should look forward to sustainable economic
growth
. On the one hand,economic
development
 is essential for reducing
poverty
 and starvation.Western countries have better economic
development
 which is why their citizens have a better lifestyle.
For instance
,Europe and United States of America residents get free healthcare,full free education and social welfare.
That is
 why their
poverty
 rate is very low.
In addition
,they get money if they do not have jobs.Economic
growth
 can create jobs which can reduce
poverty
.
For example
,India and China create lots of jobs because of their economic
development
.
On the other hand
,environmental damage is increasing day by day because of economic improvement.Carbon emission is a major cause of
greenhouse
Correct article usage
the greenhouse
show examples
 effect.Factories are emitting carbon to the
environment
.
In addition
, factories are emitting material waste to the land which is why lands are filled up.
This
 material waste can not be reused.To solve
this
 problem,we need to focus on sustainable economic
growth
 and renewable energy is one solution for that.Because renewable energy has a lesser effect on the
environment
 and material waste can be reused using renewable energy. In conclusion,economic and financial advancement is important for reducing
poverty
 but affecting the
environment
 is alarming for our future.
That is
 why we need to focus on sustainable economic
growth
 without harming the
environment
.
Otherwise
,people around the world will face a catastrophe in the near future.
Submitted by ashraftaukir on

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introduction conclusion
Make sure to provide a clear introduction that outlines the topics that will be discussed in the essay, and a conclusion that effectively wraps up the argument and clearly states your position.
logical structure
Develop paragraphs with clear main ideas, and use linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
supported main points
Support your arguments with specific examples and details. Rather than making general statements, provide evidence and illustrations that anchor your points in reality.
complete response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task and that your own opinion is clearly stated and extended. Remember to consistently explore both sides of the argument as requested in the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express your ideas clearly and elaborate on them comprehensively. Avoid underdeveloped paragraphs and aim for a balanced discussion throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Aim for examples that are varied and detailed to demonstrate a wide range of knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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