IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Twitter and so on) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #individuals #society
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In contemporary times, social websites have infiltrated almost all aspects of our lives, making life easier and more challenging concurrently depending on the given conditions. The topic of whether social media
platforms
 are detrimental to the members of our society or not has long been a dissent among individuals. It is my contention that
while
 these sites offer salient benefits like real-time interaction and socialisation, they can
also
 yield drawbacks
such
 as disinformation and excessive scrolling time. First and foremost,
although
 some might try to stick to the status quo by not tolerating social information sites like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, they have become part of the life of the majority of the population. These communication hubs emerged as a disruptive change to the previous mail and letters, completely revolutionizing the way we used to communicate.
Furthermore
, these websites are now connecting billions of people from all over the world where they can exchange information in a matter of seconds. To cite as an example, through the help of online community groups on Facebook, people help each other in foreign countries by seeking help from experienced locals or other foreigners about local laws or other important topics.
Moreover
, certain individuals have benefited from these
platforms
 by establishing their own online businesses and customer base which necessitates a negligible amount of financing,
thus
 making it a feasible business for investors. On the flip side, it is worth noting that the internet does not always come with reliable and secure data. Since there is no regulatory control over these
platforms
, disinformation can easily be spread among communities, misleading people during pivotal events
such
 as war, pandemic and political rupture.
Consequently
,
this
 can result in turmoil and a series of predicaments.
For instance
, despite the government's significant efforts, the dispersion of erroneous information could not be prevented during the COVID-19 pandemic, resulting in pure chaos all over the world. In conclusion, even though it is true that these social
platforms
 can pose a threat to society, they are advantageous in general, by furnishing us with undisrupted communication.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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task achievement
Make sure the main points in each paragraph are clearly stated and directly address the topic. This ensures a stronger argument and better task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Avoid overusing certain phrases or words to keep the essay fresh and engaging.
task achievement and coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. This adds depth to your essay and supports your claims effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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