‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is evident that opinions are divided on whether
parents
should exert control over their
children
to prevent them from making
mistakes
or if
children
should be allowed the freedom to learn from their own experiences. In
this
essay, I will explore both perspectives before presenting my own opinion. On one hand, proponents of preventing
children
from making
mistakes
argue that they are too young and inexperienced to make sound decisions on their own. They often cite concerns about the influence of external factors
such
as peer pressure and media exposure to harmful substances like drugs and alcohol.
For instance
, advertisements promoting alcohol consumption are prevalent in today's society, making it easily accessible to teenagers who may lack the maturity to resist
such
temptations.
Consequently
,
parents
may feel compelled to monitor and restrict their
children
's activities to protect them from potential harm.
However
, it is essential to consider the perspective of those who advocate for
children
's freedom to make
mistakes
. They argue that experiencing failure and its consequences firsthand is a valuable part of the learning process. By allowing
children
to make
mistakes
, they develop resilience, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility.
For example
, when
children
are given the autonomy to manage their own finances, they learn the importance of budgeting and prioritizing expenses. These life lessons cannot be fully grasped through parental intervention alone.In my opinion,
while
parental guidance is crucial for ensuring
children
's safety and well-being, excessive control can stifle their growth and development.
Instead
of imposing strict rules,
parents
should foster open communication and provide guidance when needed. In conclusion,
while
there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate, I believe that
children
should be given the freedom to make
mistakes
under the guidance of their
parents
. By allowing them to learn from their experiences, we empower them to become independent and responsible individuals capable of facing life's challenges with confidence.
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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases and discourse markers to ensure a more cohesive and naturally flowing essay.
task achievement
When discussing both sides of the argument, provide more specific examples to support each point. This will make your arguments more compelling and illustrate the practical implications of each viewpoint.
task achievement
To improve the task response, ensure that the essay consistently addresses the prompt throughout all paragraphs, maintaining a clear position while discussing both sides of the argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom
  • Mistakes
  • Valuable life lessons
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Resilience
  • Creativity
  • Prevent
  • Dangerous
  • Life-altering
  • Adult supervision
  • Instill
  • Good judgment
  • Guidance
  • Harmful habits
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